


Ethereal

by freedomphoenix



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gods & Goddesses, Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - Samurai, Alternate Universe - World War II, Alternate Universe - Yakuza, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Mythical Beings & Creatures, Pseudo-History, Reincarnation, Romance, Time Skips, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-04
Updated: 2018-06-01
Packaged: 2019-03-26 21:48:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 31,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13866687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freedomphoenix/pseuds/freedomphoenix
Summary: "So it is said that in every lifetime they are unconsciously searching for each other. When they recognize each other’s true identities, they will be able to pass on into eternity forever."Shoma and Yuzuru are reincarnated through history in an attempt to find each other.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to try to write something a little more similar to some of the original work I like to write (more dramatic, mythical stuff). So I figured I could apply it to Shoma and Yuzuru since the two of them always seem to be at the forefront of my mind. 
> 
> I hope you like it so far! Don't worry, the other parts are being written and the chapters will be longer. Let me know if you like it so far (even if it's just a sneak peak of the rest of the story).
> 
> There will most likely be 3-4 chapters. (edit: it will probably be longer than that)  
> [Smol Shoma](https://78.media.tumblr.com/f7ae5a9b9b557447f978191b4238f9dc/tumblr_p0wwi41hXM1w4fsv3o1_500.gif)

        “Mommy, tell me the story of the Phoenix boy again!” said a small boy as he lay down in his bed.

        “Sure sweetie, but you have to go to bed, you have your first skating practice tomorrow,” his mother said. She stroked his hair gently.

        “Okay Mommy,” the boy agreed, leaning into his mother’s touch.

        “In old Japan, there was a beautiful queen that ruled over Japan. She was said to be a very fair and well-loved leader. The Gods were said to favor her. The people even believed her son was blessed. He was often described as ethereal, almost like a swan, rivaling the most beautiful women in all of Japan. He too, like his mother, was fair and kind, the people loved him. One day he came riding back from defending their borders, carrying something—”

        “A phoenix!”

        “Yes Sho-kun, he found a phoenix. The prince came back with a large injured bird with vibrant red and orange feathers, similar to flames. The people believed they were blessed, the prince had found a phoenix. At the same time, a rumor begins to circulate that the prince had a new friend, a short young man with curly hair was seen roaming around the queen’s residence. It was said those times were when the queen and her son were the happiest.

        However, rivaling nations wanted the Phoenix's power for their own. The blood of a phoenix was believed to give someone immortality. They fought the queen’s army and eventually were able to storm the queen’s residence. They raided every home in search of the Phoenix, but they could not find it. The people would not tell them. They also could not find the prince. In a fit of anger, they killed the queen and lit the city on fire.”

        “The queen wished her son and the Phoenix could be together forever.”

        “Mhm, as the queen was dying she prayed to the Gods who favored her to make sure that her son and the young man—the Phoenix—would be able to find each other in every life if in this life they weren’t destined to be together.

        The angry nations eventually found the prince. His mother had sent him away with the Phoenix to protect them. When he discovered what was done to his mother he tried to attack the leader of the combined nations who had planned the whole invasion. He and the Phoenix, in human form, fought valiantly, but two were nothing against an army comprised of multiple nations.

        The prince was sliced down and the young man transformed into the Phoenix and attempted to give the prince his blood. The prince would not take it—once the Phoenix's power was used the bird would die forever—the prince did not want to live forever without his precious people. The greedy leader tried to take the blood for himself but before the leader could reach him—”

        “They lit on fire!”

        “Yes Sho-kun, they were burned together. The Phoenix would be reborn if he burned to ashes, he tried to transfer all of his power to ensure that the prince would be reborn instead of him. But the Phoenix did not realize that their souls were linked together. They would be reborn together in every life.

        The mother’s wish was answered by the Gods; the queen they favored, her son, and one of their own was killed by the greed of humankind. Even if they could not give the Phoenix his powers back, they made sure that no matter how far apart they were, the prince and the Phoenix would be able to meet.

        So it is said that in every lifetime they are unconsciously searching for each other. When they recognize each other’s true identities, they will be able to pass on into eternity forever,” The mother finished her story and tucked in her sleeping son.

 

_“The storyteller, always in every lifetime. A mother’s blessing.”_


	2. Act I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! I'm not quite sure how I want to do the chapters yet, so ignore the titles for now.
> 
> Here are some pics I found on the interwebs to give you some idea of how majestic these two would look lol  
> [ Yuzuru looking every inch the boss](https://68.media.tumblr.com/aa97cdcb6ef67a366d80c0ca53042460/tumblr_oiex61Kt3w1r62t2fo1_1280.jpg)  
> [ Shoma looks sad and cool](http://78.media.tumblr.com/eaa3e8d21a3c1fcaf0283550831fff30/tumblr_p3wt4nZgZb1ty4cy5o1_540.png)

        “Daimyo, I have succeeded in securing an alliance,” a man said, kneeling.

        “Stand up Shoma, you do not need those formalities with me when there is no one else here,” the Daimyo said, he is dressed elegantly and is considered to be so handsome there is doubt that he has any ability to fight.

        “Daimyo I cannot just drop formalities like that, you are still my lord,” the curly haired man kept his head bowed, respectful.

        “Shoma stop it right now, we were raised together,” the Daimyo said.

        “But Yuzuru-sama I serve you now, we cannot be the way we were when we were children,” said Shoma, a pang goes through Shoma’s heart as his ever-expressive friend looked at him sadly. He had once again made a clear distinction between their class. It was something he constantly had to do for Yuzuru’s sake.

        “Sho, don’t say it like that,” said Yuzuru.

        “Yuzuru, you cannot treat me better than anyone else because we are friends,” said Shoma.

        “So you admit we are friends! See it is much better without honorifics,” said Yuzuru. “Now, join me for dinner in my room, I am tired of eating alone.” Shoma nodded in acceptance of Yuzuru’s offer, tired of trying to pretend they were nothing more than samurai and daimyo.

 

_It fissures._

 

        The two of them are sprawled out comfortably, drinking sake and conversing. “I miss this Yuzu,” Shoma admitted. The alcohol had loosened him, made him more comfortable.

        “See, aren’t you glad you came to hang out with me,” said Yuzuru, slinging an arm around Shoma’s shoulder. Shoma resisted the urge to lean into the warmth.

        “It was nice when I didn’t have to fight your wars and we could just spar together.”

        “Are you saying I can’t fight anymore?”

        “Of course not Yuzu, I know you would beat me any day. There is a reason you have been able to gain this much power and keep it.”

        “Don’t talk to me like that, it makes me uncomfortable,” said Yuzuru. Shoma laughed at the comment, pouring another drink for the two of them.

        “My mother always told me a story of a swan who managed to link his soul with his lover’s,” reminisced Yuzuru, as he comfortably brought Shoma closer. “She said that the swan was burned with his lover and his desperation ensured their souls would be linked together.

        “You are starting to sound old,” teased Shoma.

        “Stop it,” scolded Yuzuru. “What if—” Yuzuru stared at Shoma, as he turned the words carefully over in his head. Shoma gazed at him softly, willing to hear what Yuzuru had to say. “It’s just wishful thinking,” said Yuzuru aloud, brushing off his previous thought.

        “Are you sure Yuzuru?” asked Shoma.

        “I’m sure, it must be the sake. Share some poetry Shoma, I miss hearing your voice,” said Yuzuru. Shoma’s heart leaped at that comment. He suppressed the feeling, his feelings for his daimyo were inappropriate.

        “Fine fine,” Shoma agreed to Yuzuru’s whims. He had always been a bit of a pushover for Yuzuru. It was said that he was a demon on the battlefield but all of it seemed to fade away with Yuzuru. Shoma took a deep breath and a look of serenity crossed his face, he was too focused on reciting the poem to hear Yuzuru’s sharp intake of breath at the sight of Shoma. “Ochi Etsujin—It’s enviable/The gracefulness of/the cat’s love.”

        “Which of the women here broke my dear Shoma’s heart?” asked Yuzuru, an almost undetectable tone of jealousy in his voice. Shoma, too flustered by the endearment failed to respond.

        “She must be beautiful and elusive if you are unable to tell me her name,” said Yuzuru, this time the envy clear in his voice.

        “N-no Yuzuru, there is no one as ethereal as you,” Shoma responded quickly. He turned red, and covered his face, “I didn’t mean to it like that.”

        “You cannot take it back now,” said Yuzuru seriously, he leaned in and kissed Shoma. Shoma’s eyes widened, every single thought seemed to filter through his mind—then it stopped. He kissed back, furiously. They part, short of breath. “Take me Sho.”

        Their bodies create a beautiful silhouette, the moon was said to shine extra bright on the night of their joining.

 

_It fractures._

 

        “Excuse me Daimyo, a delegation is here, the opposing Daimyo’s daughter is here,” a servant announced from outside the bedroom. Yuzuru lay on Shoma’s chest, disrobed and comfortable.

        “Send Keiji to entertain them,” said Yuzuru, “I need to prepare.”

        “Yes Daimyo,” said the servant, both of them listened as the near-silent steps disappeared down the hallway, dreading the impending conversation.

        “Are you to be married?” asked Shoma, sharp as ever. Yuzuru looked at him, and his eyes seemed to have pierced Shoma’s soul. It was almost as if Yuzuru had awoken a fire within him. Yuzuru tried to convey everything with his eyes, everything he would be unable to say.

        “I am,” was all Yuzuru said.

        Shoma hid his reaction, face carefully schooled into a blank slate, “Congratulations Yuzuru-sama.” Yuzuru nodded, understanding the barrier that was erected.

        “Thank you Shoma-san,” said Yuzuru, he stood up and dressed. Shoma does the same and bowed respectfully before he left, steps firm as his resolve. Yuzuru watched the door slide shut and he had to bite back the desire to sob.

 

_It cracks._

 

        Satoko was sweet, Shoma did not resent her. He served her well and even managed to befriend her. His heart was better concealed as time progressed. But it seemed as if Yuzuru’s ever expressive soul was unable to put aside its feelings. “Shoma, please join me, Satoko will not be here tonight, she is going to visit her family.”

        “I do not know what you speak of Daimyo,” said Shoma. Although his heart desired for nothing more than to join with Yuzuru once more, he respected the boundaries they had set. It was all for Yuzuru’s sake.

        “Shoma, please,” asked Yuzuru, desperation was evident in his voice.

        “It is not my place to please you,” Shoma answered. Yuzuru throws his cup at Shoma.

        “That’s what I was too you?!” Yuzuru raised his voice.

        “Yuzuru, what has gotten into you?” Satoko asked, rushing into the room. She kneeled by Shoma, dabbing the blood on his cheek with her sleeve.

        “Do not touch him Satoko, he does not deserve your pity,” commanded Yuzuru. Satoko looked between the two of them, torn. Yuzuru seemed every bit a war-lord, his former kindness dispersed in his anger.

        “Go to him Satoko, do not bother yourself with me,” whispered Shoma.

        “Leave Shoma, do not come back until you win all of Japan,” demanded Yuzuru.

        Shoma bowed his head, “Yes, Daimyo.”

        “Yuzuru! Do not do this, you cannot send him away like this,” pleaded Satoko

        “I will do as I like. I will not tolerate this disrespect, you are lucky you are not being executed,” Yuzuru gestured for Shoma to leave. Shoma exited.

 

_It breaks._

 

        Shoma fought, his days were full of blood. Blood. Death. Wishing. He spent his nights staring at the stars, wishing it could be better. A desperation that their situation would not need to be like this.

 

        Yuzuru was broken. Anger. Tears. Regret. He wished the circumstances did not have to be like this. But he could not muster the courage to bring him back.

 

        He had done it, Shoma had succeeded. He collapsed, falling dead from exertion, battle wounds, and a broken heart. His men burned his body to be able to present it to the Daimyo.

 

_It shatters._

 

        The Daimyo was found dead, his loyal Samurai’s ashes were said to be spread over his deceased body. They were buried together, unable to separate the ashes from the Daimyo’s body.

 

_“One chance out of three.”_


	3. Act II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little flash-forward time. Catch me with those bird references.
> 
> Watching Yuzuru affectionately harass Shoma is adorable. There is a picture of [poor Shoma being choked](https://68.media.tumblr.com/31c52e7cadf501da01e3bc8620698b3c/tumblr_oigxsmIibg1usd9k0o6_1280.jpg) by Yuzuru and Shoma looks like he wants to get the hell out of there. Shoma's such a good sport lol

       “I’m Yuzuru, nice to meet you,” Yuzuru said to the much smaller figure skater. Shoma bowed and looked around for his parents, nervous. “Is this your first time?” asked Yuzuru trying to make friends with the younger boy. Shoma shook his head, his cheeks slightly red. “Are you okay?” asked Yuzuru, concerned.

       “Mhm,” was all Shoma could manage to utter before scurrying away. He was embarrassed at how quickly his heart pounded at the mere sight of Yuzuru Hanyu. It did not make sense to him, he knew of Yuzuru, but he was not some all-powerful, scary ice skater, in fact, Shoma found him rather pretty.

       “He’s so cute, it’s a shame he’s too shy to talk,” said Yuzuru. The little boy made Yuzuru want to hold on to him forever.

 

        _Meeting_

 

       Shoma watched in awe as Yuzuru gilded effortlessly across the ice. He was as beautiful as a swan, almost like an ice prince. Everything about his skating transfixed Shoma, he wanted to be like Yuzuru, his eternal goal.

        Yuzuru ended his program hitting his final pose. Yuzuru grinned, happy with himself, Shoma could not stop staring at him, transfixed by Yuzuru himself. Something about Yuzuru drew Shoma in. Yuzuru turned and made eye contact with Shoma, smiling and then he skated off the ice. After he talked to his coach he made his way to Shoma who was warming up for his routine.

       “How’d I do?” asked Yuzuru.

       “Really good,” said Shoma as he nodded his head. Yuzuru smiled even brighter and threw an arm around Shoma’s shoulder.

       “Do well in your free skate Shoma-kun, I’ll be watching you,” said Yuzuru squeezing his shoulder before walking away to talk to his coach. Shoma nodded, flustered at the sudden contact. Shoma felt as if he could fly.

 

        _Awe_

 

       “Shoma-kun! You’re here today!” greeted Yuzuru. Shoma greeted Yuzuru with a bow and is immediately headlocked. Shoma groaned as he tried to extract his head from the chokehold.

       “Yuzuru-kun, stop it! I won’t be able to skate,” complained Shoma. Yuzuru released his head and ruffled his hair.

       “Let’s go get ready,” said Yuzuru, practically dragging Shoma with him, holding Shoma’s hand and Pooh bear in the other.

       “Why is Pooh-san here?

       “Good luck! Remember? I told you last time,” said Yuzuru.

       “I remember everything you tell me,” said Shoma, rolling his eyes, “but does Pooh-san need to come with us when we change?” Yuzuru was unaware of his heart constricting at Shoma’s words—he remembered everything—he just ruffled Shoma’s hair and poked his side.

       “Stop it Shoma-kun, you’re being mean,” said Yuzuru. “Besides, it’s not like you haven’t changed in front of everyone before, what difference will Pooh-san make.”

       Shoma laughed and shook his head, “Shouldn’t you just keep Pooh-san with your coach?”

       “If it makes Shoma-kun like me more I will keep Pooh-san with my coach,” said Yuzuru.

       Shoma blushes, flustered, “Oh no, you don’t need to do that for me. I was just joking.”

 

        _Acquainting_

 

       Yuzuru spied a lonely Shoma from across the rink, lost in his own world. Yuzuru sped up and ambushed him with his cold hands. He pried his cheeks into a smile, “Shoma-kun, smile!” said Yuzuru. Shoma just laughed at the older skaters antics and turned around to talk with him as he skated backward.

       “You should try doing this in one of your programs,” said Shoma, exaggerating a graceful motion into something utterly ridiculous. Yuzuru laughed and shoved Shoma lightly.

       “You’re ridiculous, maybe I’ll try to cantilever in my performance,” responded Yuzuru.

       “You can’t even bend backward like that,” provoked Shoma.

       “I can watch me,” Yuzuru slid into a bad imitation of Shoma’s cantilever and Shoma laughs as Yuzuru ends up on his back in laughter. Shoma skated over and helped him up.

       “Stick to skating beautifully, stop trying to be cool,” said Shoma. Yuzuru had felt his heart speed up and he knew for a fact it was not his asthma.

       “I am very cool,” said Yuzuru, mock offended.

       “Very—you should strip again for our next competition,” said Shoma.

       “Watch me, I will! And while I do it, wear the dead chicken costume,” teased Yuzuru.

       “I’ll wear it just for you,” laughed Shoma. Yuzuru felt his heart speed up even faster at Shoma’s words.

       “Don’t stay stuff like that,” Yuzuru whispered to Shoma.

       “Yuzu-kun?” inquired Shoma, “Did you say something?”

       “Nothing, I was just taken by the idea of you in the dead chicken costume again,” said Yuzuru. Shoma shoves him playfully before skating away to prepare for the rehearsal.

       Yuzuru would later hold his shoulder in wonder, it tingled, as if touched by something magical.

 

        _Awakening_

 

       Shoma sat alone in his room as he sobbed silently into his pillow. His face would look puffy tomorrow and Mihoko would ask him what happened but Shoma could care less. He was so stupid to think he would be able to manage a girlfriend and figure skating. He scrambled for his phone, hands blindly grasping for it. He managed to FaceTime Yuzuru, desperate for some comfort from the older boy. They had become comfortable with each other, they FaceTimed occasionally to talk about anything from skating to video games. Being able to hear Yuzuru’s voice was reassuring for Shoma.

       “Shoma-kun you should be asleep!” scolded Yuzuru as soon as he picked up.

        “Y-yuzu,” choked out Shoma between sobs.

        “Shoma-kun?” Yuzuru asked, concerned as he heard his usually stoic friend crying. “Brian I going to bathroom!” Yuzuru said as he moved to a more secluded area.

       “Y-yuzu,” cried Shoma, his red eyes and messy hair make Yuzuru’s heart clench.

       “What’s wrong Sho-kun?” asked Yuzuru.

       “S-she broke up w-with me,” Shoma cried, “a-and she s-said I was an f-figure skating freak and I w-would n-never compare to y-you. A-and I s-should s-stick to p-playing video g-games,” Shoma managed to say.

       “No Shoma-kun, do not listen to her. You are not a figure skating freak and you are an amazing skater. I know you don’t feel great right now, but you are strong. You will show her the best skating program ever and she will regret ever being mean to you. Shoma-kun, she doesn’t define you. Skating is your dream,” reminded Yuzuru.

       “Really Yuzu? What if I wasn’t meant to skate?” asked Shoma. Yuzuru’s heart hurt at those words, skating was as much of a mental sport as it was a physical sport. Shoma was meant to skate, Yuzuru knew it. Seeing him on the ice felt right. Having Shoma near him felt right.

       “You have one of the strongest mentalities of all the figure skaters I've met Shoma-kun,” said Yuzuru. He looked at Shoma in the eyes, trying to convey everything he couldn’t say in words through his eyes.

       “Only because I want to reach you,” said Shoma. Yuzuru felt an odd surge of pride at those words.

       “You will reach me Shoma-kun, I’m sure of it.” Shoma’s heart seemed to soar, Yuzuru’s thoughts had reached him.

 

_Reassurance_

 

       “Congrats Shoma-kun,” said Yuzuru as he hugged Shoma. Shoma smiled, ecstatic to be able to be at the same level as Yuzuru in terms of competition. But, he was dissatisfied with himself wanting more, he always had a desire to be better. He wanted to be able to reach Yuzuru, to be equal to him.

       “Congratulations Yuzuru-kun,” responded Shoma. They posed for pictures and managed to get married once more. It seemed as if getting married was their thing. Being together was their thing. They skated off together, talking and laughing.

       “Shoma-kun you looked so powerful on the ice today,” complimented Yuzuru.

       “Thank you Yuzu-kun, I always watch you to measure my progression,” admitted Shoma. Yuzuru grinned, satisfied at hearing those words.

       “My kouhai is becoming so mature,” said Yuzuru.

       “That’s because I have a great senpai,” complimented Shoma. Yuzuru would never get used to hearing Shoma compliment him so effortlessly. He wondered if Shoma knew the effect his words had on him and said those kinds of things on purpose.

       “Shoma-kun do you think we were meant to be together?” asked Yuzuru. Shoma looked at him, genuinely confused.

       “What do you mean by that?” asked Shoma.

       “Don’t you feel like,” Yuzuru paused, unsure what exactly he was trying to get at.

       “Skating together like this is the way it was meant to be?” asked Shoma. Affirming Yuzuru’s statement made his body feel hot for some reason as if something was on fire. Shoma feels slightly dizzy, the heat not uncomfortable but odd, he reached out to grip Yuzuru’s arm and Yuzuru looked back at him. Touching Yuzuru helped his body to slowly cool off. Yuzuru allowed Shoma to grip his arm, not minding the contact. Shoma managed to make it off the ice and his body feels normal again.

       “Are you okay Shoma-kun?” asked Yuzuru.

       “I’m fine, I think my body was exhausted much more than I initially thought,” said Shoma.

       “Maybe you should eat something. Do you want to eat with me later?” asked Yuzuru, slightly nervous for some odd reason. He wanted to be able to spend time with Shoma, he wanted to be near him.

       “Uh,” Shoma paused, he wanted to eat with Yuzuru but he had made a promise to someone else already. “I would like to Yuzuru, but I promised Keiji I would eat with him earlier. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind if you joined us,” said Shoma. Yuzuru looked dejected for a second but plastered a smile on his face after. Yuzuru suppressed the irrational jealousy coursing through him, these feelings could not be his own. Why would he be jealous that Shoma couldn’t eat with him?

       “I will just eat with Javi, but, will you eat with me later, at another time?” asked Yuzuru. The mention of Javier made Shoma’s heart clench. Javier was the one Yuzuru looked up to and Shoma was left trying to reach for Yuzuru. Shoma pushed those feelings aside, he knew he had no reason to be jealous of Javier.

       “Of course!” answered Shoma with a smile. Yuzuru felt satisfied, his soul seemed to fly.

 

_Jealousy_

 

       “Are you really doing this right now, to me, to us?!” asked Yuzuru. Shoma had stated that he wanted to end things and Yuzuru could not believe it. He refused to believe it.

       “Yuzuru this is for the best,” said Shoma, his eyes were entirely unconvinced of the words coming out of his own mouth.

       “Shoma you are the best thing that has ever happened to me, all the gold medals, everything—it doesn’t matter,” said Yuzuru, raising his voice.

       “Yuzuru, don't lie to me! Don’t lie to yourself!” Shoma said, tears running down his cheeks.

       “Fine, I agree with you—the gold medals, everything I’ve worked for, it matters. But—" Yuzuru was cut off by Shoma.

       “Figure skating is your dream, I do not belong in it in any other way than a competitor. You deserve to be undistracted by someone like me. I’m just a distraction from your true goal.”

       “Stop saying that, please Shoma. Do you not understand?” asked Yuzuru.

       “I understand I am nothing more than a distraction,” said Shoma. This time he seemed more convinced of his words like he had practiced these words for weeks to be able to say it properly. To be able to convince himself what he was doing was right.

       “Shoma! I am insulted,” Yuzuru looked genuinely angry, “Do you not think that I can do both?”

       “But—” Shoma cut in.

       “Stop talking,” Yuzuru commanded, “Shoma we are both old enough and strong enough to do both of those things. Javier has done it, Nobu, Misha, why can’t we? What makes us any different from them? We are mature enough to realize when our relationship is interfering with our professional lives and as far as I am concerned it isn’t.”

       Shoma fell silent he looked at Yuzuru and how worked up he was. Yuzuru panted heavily, angered and distressed. “Yuzu—”

       “Shoma, I realized skating would not be the same without you chasing me, without you supporting me, without you kissing me to congratulate me,” Yuzuru cried as he poured his heart out.

       Shoma’s heart clenched, there was a feeling of deja vu. He had walked away before because it was what he believed was best for Yuzuru. And then suddenly he stopped thinking, stopped trying to figure out what to do, his body was burning and he couldn’t think clearly. Yuzuru made the decision for him, he crossed the room and brought Shoma into a hug. It clicked for him, it was meant for him to be in Yuzuru’s arms. Yuzuru made the burning bearable, he cooled him, made everything feel right.

       “Yuzuru,” Shoma turned around and began to sob into his chest. They embraced each other and poured out their hearts, together, as if emotions buried from long ago were finally emerging. “I’m sorry for trying to leave, I was wrong—”

       “Stop, you were trying to do what you thought was the best for the best of us,” said Yuzuru. “I will fight harder for us this time.”

       “So will I.”

 

      _“Their last chance.”_


	4. Act III: Scene I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was one of my favorites to write so far. It's longer than I anticipated so I broke it up into two. I'm putting my final touches on the second part. It will be out really soon, I promise. 
> 
> We all need a little [#cool Shoma](https://78.media.tumblr.com/424d2663d62ec1ae676d28221a38487e/tumblr_p21vg9A8Rz1w20jz5o1_1280.jpg) in our lives. I switched the ages a little bit, Shoma's older in this one. Personalities also had to shift a bit to accommodate lifestyle.  
>  
> 
> Hope you like it! 
> 
> (Please note I do not endorse joining a gang. Also, willing suspension of disbelief because this chapter is a little harder to fit Yuzuru and Shoma into character wise [they are both precious and would never do something like this] and because my historical writing for this part isn't as accurate, I tried but it's harder than I thought to make everything fit).

        “Hey there, are you alone?” asked a short, stocky man.

        “Um—” a thin, lanky boy sat in the corner of one of Japan’s most crowded streets. He was dirty and displaced.

        “Shouldn’t you be in school kid?” asked the man.

        “You’re one to ask that question, you look like you’re the same age as me. Shouldn’t you be in school too? Besides my parents don’t care if I go to school,” said the lanky boy.

        The man laughed, “My name is Shoma and even though I may look like this, I’m older than you. Come with me kid, I’ll buy you food. Entertain me for a little while,” said Shoma.

        “Are you sure?!” asked the boy.

        “Sure, if you tell me your name I’ll buy you all the food you want,” said Shoma.

        “Hanyu, Yuzuru,” the boy’s eyes lit up at the mention of food. It was apparent the kid had not eaten for several days.

        “Come with me,” said Shoma. Yuzuru scrambled to stand up and followed Shoma to a restaurant. The restaurant owner at the sight of Shoma immediately led them to a back room.

        “Are you important or something?” asked Yuzuru.

        “You could say that,” said Shoma. “Here, get what you want,” Shoma said as he handed the menu to Yuzuru.

        “Really?”

        “Sure,” said Shoma, “I keep my end of the deal and you keep yours.” Shoma gestured to Yuzuru to order. Yuzuru’s eyes widened and he ordered practically everything and looked at Shoma with a sheepish smile.

        “Are you sure you don’t mind feeding someone like me with all this expensive food?” said Yuzuru.

        “Nah, I have enough money to buy this restaurant many times over,” said Shoma. “Anyway, tell me about yourself Yuzuru-kun; I bought you food, you keep up your end.”

        “My parents stopped taking care of me a while ago, they just kind of abandoned me,” said Yuzuru as he toyed with his cup of water.

        “Mhm,” Shoma nodded his head empathetically. Shoma stared at him intently, waiting for Yuzuru to open up. He was a very patient man. Yuzuru continued to toy with his cup of water, weighing his options. He looked at Shoma and something seemed to have registered because he gave Shoma a shy smile and began to explain.

        “I go to school sometimes because I have friends and it’s not awful there. I actually am not too bad at school. I’m on the baseball team. But there will be home visits soon and my parents haven’t come back so I don’t know what to do. So I decided to skip today, I don’t want to have to tell my teacher I don’t have parents at home because I don’t want to end up in an orphanage,” said Yuzuru as he talked with his hands. His face was very expressive.

        Shoma paused, taking in all of the information he was given. “Yuzuru-kun,” Shoma said his name so seriously that Yuzuru’s head shot up. “What if I make you another deal? I think it’ll work out nicely for both of us,” said Shoma. He nodded towards the waitress to close the door after leaving all of their food.

        “A deal?” asked Yuzuru, interested. He was struggling to live on his own and this man may be able to help him. If he tried to exploit him he could just run away and return to living on the street.

        “I can help you get through school and live a better life, but you have to join me,” said Shoma, he rolled up his sleeve and the tips of red and orange wings peek through his rolled up shirt cuff.

        “Yakuza!” exclaimed Yuzuru, fascinated and terrified at the same time. It suddenly clicked for him, the restaurant owner, the money, everything. He looked up at the said Yakuza member and was greeted with a soft smile. Shoma smiled a genuine, unguarded one. And Yuzuru felt oddly safe. This man would ensure nothing would happen to him, ever. His very soul felt safe with this man.

        “I won’t have you do anything too bad,” Shoma said as he sensed the slight hesitancy. “Nothing more than what you’ve seen living like this. We manage more of the business side of things.”

        “How do you know what I’ve gone through?” asked Yuzuru, still half guarded, his old habits still in place.

        “I used to be in your situation Yuzuru-kun,” said Shoma with a slightly wistful smile. Yuzuru’s heart throbbed in sympathy, almost as if his subconscious was telling him to trust the man. “Now, after considering my offer and you decide you want to take it up, meet me at the same street corner in a week. That should give you enough time to decide and enough time for me to prepare everything for you if you so choose,” said Shoma. “Do not feel pressured to join; I will leave you alone if you decide not to join.”

        “Okay,” Yuzuru said with a nod. He would have enough time to truly weigh the pros and cons, not that he had much of an option. Even if Shoma was a member of the Yakuza it was infinitely better than ending up in an orphanage and being forced to live his life on someone else’s terms. At least he would be able to maintain a degree of freedom and have more resources than he could’ve imagined. Besides, Shoma. Shoma was someone to be trusted.

        “I hope you can eat all of this. If not take it with you, you should be able to stretch this food out for a week if you need. I have to go.” Yuzuru’s eyes widened at the sheer amount of food in front of him. “Don’t worry I paid,” said Shoma. He popped a big piece of tempura in his mouth and waved goodbye to Yuzuru.

 

_Opening up_

 

        Yuzuru squatted in the snow, cold but not freezing. He waited for Shoma all day and was almost ready to give up and go back to his shack of a house. If the Yakuza member was joking or realized Yuzuru was useless he wouldn’t blame him. It wouldn’t be the first time he was abandoned.

        A hand extended towards Yuzuru’s face; he grabbed it, recognizing the tips of the tattoo peeking through a rolled-up sleeve. “Sorry Yuzuru-kun, I got caught up in some other business and I didn’t want any of my other men picking you up in case you thought they were from another organization.” Warmth shot through Yuzuru’s hand when he touched Shoma’s.

        “Oh, you’re warm.”

        “Here Yuzuru-kun, sorry for making you wait in the cold. I have more clothes for you at home, but wear my jacket for now,” said Shoma. He placed his suit jacket over Yuzuru’s frail shoulders and smiled. Yuzuru felt his heart pound, the Yakuza member almost looked cute.

        “Where are we going?” asked Yuzuru.

        “My home or your new home. You’re going to have some roommates,” Shoma said. Yuzuru’s eyes must have widened because Shoma added on, “Don’t worry, they’re nice,” as an afterthought. He led Yuzuru a ways away, entertaining the boy’s conversation.

        “Is this your home?” asked Yuzuru as they stopped in front of a sprawling compound.

        “One of them—the one I spend a majority of my time at,” Shoma led him to the main entrance. Yuzuru was so absorbed in the architecture he doesn’t recognize the numerous people prowling in the shadows that Shoma nodded at. Yuzuru would later become adept at recognizing them to the point of knowing all of their names and a little bit of their life story. He slid open the door and the sound of laughter resounded through the hallways.

        “You really are rich,” Yuzuru said, amazed. Shoma closed the door behind them and gestured for Yuzuru to walk down the hallway.

        “Dinner should be ready, eat with us first and then I’ll show you to your room.” Shoma opened the door for Yuzuru to the main room. There are two men sprawled out, laughing comfortably and Yuzuru feels at home.

        “Keiji, Nobu, here’s our new recruit,” said Shoma. “This is Yuzuru,” introduced Shoma, “the tall one is Keiji, the shorter one is Nobu.”

        “Nice to meet you,” Yuzuru said with a bow.

        “Hey Yuzuru-kun, I’ll be your temporary guardian for the house visit,” said Nobunari with a kind smile. “I do the boring desk work that keeps this organization running.

        “Ah—thank you, nice to meet you,” Yuzuru bowed, awkward.

        “I’m Keiji, I’m the political face of this organization,” said Keiji.

        “Nice to meet you too,” said Yuzuru.

        “After we eat I’ll show him around. Keiji please brief him for me. Nobu, we have a meeting,” said Shoma. Nobunari nodded and goes to grab the food.

        “Don’t look so uncomfortable Yuzuru-kun,” said Keiji.

        “He thought I was the same age as him,” said Shoma with a laugh.

        “That’s because you look 14 and are the height of a middle schooler,” said Keiji.

        “You’re only three years older, don’t act like you’re that much older than me,” said Shoma, rolling his eyes.

        “At least I look 26 and am tall enough to actually look my age,” said Keiji. Shoma pushed Keiji over in mock offense and Yuzuru found himself laughing. Shoma looked at Yuzuru, his laughter causing something to well up in Shoma’s heart. His laughter was beautiful. Shoma met Yuzuru’s eyes and smiled, Yuzuru smiled back shyly.

        “That kid looks like he’s older than you. How old are you Yuzuru-kun?” asked Keiji, pointedly oblivious to what is happening in front of him.

        “I turn 16 this year,” said Yuzuru.

 

_Home_

 

        “Shoma, Yuzuru is doing excellent in his classes. He’s become the top of his class now,” reported Keiji.

        “Excellent, keep an eye on him.” A sense of pride surged through Shoma.

 

_One_

 

        “Shoma, he’s gotten into the top college,” reported Nobunari. Shoma grinned to himself.

        “Just as we had hoped. Soon he will be able to become the next politician. His face and easy going demeanor will make it easier to hide his affiliation,” said Shoma. “I haven’t seen him in a while.”

        “He’ll tell you everything you’ve missed as soon as he finds out you’re home,” said Nobunari. “I have even heard Yuzuru is very popular, apparently he rejects all the girls because he’s waiting for someone already,” said Nobunari with a raised eyebrow.

        “I’ve helped Yuzuru-kun to get to where he is, of course, he’s waiting for me,” said Shoma. Nobunari looked pointedly at Shoma and Shoma ignores it.

        “The effort you put into grooming him has paid off,” said Nobunari. Shoma nodded, he had spent months teaching Yuzuru dress, etiquette, and most of all acting.

        “How does it go with Daisuke?”

        “He’s grown suspicious of you, he senses you’re grooming someone, someone not tied to him,” said Nobunari. Shoma bit his lip, frustrated. He needed to distance himself from Daisuke, his “older brother” was becoming a nuisance.

 

_Two_

 

        “Shoma, teach me how to fight,” said Yuzuru. “I want to prove my worth to you.” Yuzuru looked at Shoma, the determination in his eyes. He unflinchingly met Shoma’s eyes, something many of Shoma’s men feared to do. Yuzuru had grown so comfortable with Shoma it scared everyone in the compound. It was clear Yuzuru was going to take over Shoma’s place when he decided to step down.

        “We’ve shared sake, does that not already show you I value you?” Shoma replied, reclined comfortably drinking his tea.

        “But, I do nothing but go to school and drain your resources.”

        “Maybe that’s what I need you to do.”

        “Even so!” Shoma looked at Yuzuru, truly looked at him. Yuzuru refused to back down. Shoma caught a spark of defiance in Yuzuru’s eyes. Shoma smiled, there was a reason he chose this boy.

        “Fine, I’ll fight you.”

 

_Three_

 

        “Keiji, teach him how to fight, he’s becoming too attached to me,” said Shoma. Yuzuru refused to stop following him around ever since Shoma had beat him in a fight. He insisted Shoma fight him to improve his skills. It had turned into full-on stalking. He had even followed him to a business deal.

        “Isn’t that what you wanted?” asked Keiji.

        “It’s a selfish desire of mine Keiji,” admitted Shoma, “but for some reason, I know that we aren’t meant to be together in this life.”

        “There’s nothing wrong with—"

        “Keiji, it’s fine. I appreciate the thought, just promise me to teach him okay,” said Shoma.

        “Of course Shoma, Yuzuru might beat you in a fight one day,” said Keiji.

        “That’s what I hope. If he’s to take over he needs to be better than me in every way.”

        “Have you told him you’re grooming him to take over?”

        “He knows, we’ve talked about it several times. I don’t think he realizes why exactly.”

        “Will you tell him?”

        “Have I ever told you why I have this tattoo?” said Shoma as he changed the subject. Keiji fell silent, Shoma would tell him when he felt the time was right.

 

_Four_

 

        “Nobu, how many times will I have to throw Daisuke off my trail?” asked Shoma, anger evident in his voice.

        “I don’t know Shoma, he’s been insistent on following every one of your men closely now.”

        “Nobu—”

        “I will try to speak with him,” said Nobunari. He shut the door behind him, Shoma listened to his feet disappear down the hallway.

        “Trail him Keiji, he’s not telling us the whole truth.”

        “Yes, Shoma.”

 

_Five_

 

        “How are you so sure?” Keiji asked. Shoma’s story seems almost ridiculous.

        “Keiji, my mother told me this story and I had a dream about it after.”

        “Then you got a tattoo?”

        “Something like that.”

        “I would laugh if you didn’t tell me you dreamt of a swan before you met Yuzuru.” Shoma just nodded, Yuzuru had appeared in his dream as a swan before transforming into his human form.

  
        _Six… Seven… Eight… Nine…_


	5. Act III: Scene II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I meant really soon, I meant really soon. Noodle boy is grown noodle MAN now. Also, Shoma with a tattoo further completes #cool Shoma and also #hot Shoma lol  
> [Sho and Yuzu in suits](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/ChXSElxU0AIkONR.jpg)
> 
> And for those of you who noticed each Act gets longer, it's on purpose. I just wanted to play around with structure a little.

        “Yuzuru, open your door,” Shoma whispered. Yuzuru stood up drowsily.

        It had been almost 7 years since he had joined Shoma’s organization. He was able to graduate high school and finish university. He was now being groomed to take over Keiji’s spot as the political head. He would eventually take over Shoma’s spot when Shoma felt he was ready. He owed the man a life debt, he would do anything for him.

        Yuzuru opened his door and bit back a reaction. He had seen his fair share of blood but nothing like this. Shoma’s back was slashed beyond recognition, his normally nice suit looked more like a rag.

        “Do you need me to get Nobu?” asked Yuzuru as he helped Shoma in.

        “No, you can handle it, it’s better than it looks. Just shut the door and make sure nobody knows I’m injured,” said Shoma. Yuzuru gestured for Shoma to lay on his futon before he fully shut his door. Shoma began to strip and Yuzuru turned his head away respectfully, getting the supplies he always had in his room ready. He turned around to be greeted by the sight of a sprawling phoenix tattoo on Shoma’s well-muscled back.

        “Beautiful,” commented Yuzuru. Although Shoma’s back was slashed, the design seemed to still shine through.

        “It came to me in a dream,” said Shoma. Yuzuru sat quietly, he had learned long ago not to ask questions. Shoma could be kind and soft but also extremely vicious. Yuzuru had seen his fair share of detached fingertips in his lifetime from disloyal members. Although Shoma fell asleep often he was not to be taken lightly, he could fight and talk his way through anything when he wanted to.

        When Yuzuru first challenged Shoma as a teenager to a swordfight he was utterly destroyed in 30 seconds. Nobunari proceeded to tease him for the rest of the year. Keiji had laughed at him too for a while but offered to teach him how to actually use a sword. Yuzuru had improved since then but Shoma’s strength and skill often won out.

        “I’m going to apply the alcohol now,” said Yuzuru. He rubbed the alcohol over Shoma’s back and marveled at the way the tattoo seemed to move at his touch.

        “This is the only one I have, Daisuke forbid me from getting any more. It would be a giveaway,” said Shoma. The tattoo spanned over his entire back all the way down to his arms. Yuzuru had only seen the wings of the Phoenix from the first time he had met Shoma; this was the first time he had the privilege to see the tattoo in its entirety.

        “My mother told me a story of a Phoenix boy when she still was still interested in taking care of me,” said Yuzuru. Shoma sat silently, he listened, wanting to confirm his suspicion. Yuzuru’s hands on his back assuaged the pain, it was a distinct cooling feeling. “Sometimes I feel like,” Yuzuru paused, he hesitated. He fell silent, bandaging up Shoma’s back.

        “How do you feel Yuzu-kun?” asked Shoma, his back still to Yuzuru, expression hidden.

        “I feel as if—” Yuzuru is cut off as the door is slammed open.

        “You lied to me!” Nobunari raised his voice as he entered Yuzuru’s room angrily.

        “I did nothing of that kind Nobu,” said Shoma, his unguarded tone he shared with Yuzuru long gone.

        “You told me you wouldn’t confront Daisuke alone and you must’ve gone alone if you look like that. And of course, you go to Yuzu-run because he wouldn’t ask you any questions.”

        “What is going on Shoma-kun?” asked Yuzuru, confused.

        “I’m sorry Yuzuru, please go to my room,” said Shoma.

        “You’re going to lie to his face again?” asked Nobunari.

        “Yuzuru, go now,” said Shoma, his face grew dark. Yuzuru looked back, torn. He leaves.

        “First of all, I owe you no information of my whereabouts. Also, I told you not to talk about that in front of him, I do not tolerate this type of betrayal Nobu.”

        "You cannot lie to him like that if he’s to take over for you—”

        “I know where Daisuke is getting his information from,” said Shoma very quietly, his tone serious.

        “How…” Nobunari paused, looking guilty.

        “Your family, he used it against you,” said Shoma, “I do not blame you for that. But I will not tolerate this type of disrespect. I will not require a finger this time because that will be much too obvious. Go back to Daisuke, tell him to back off,” said Shoma as he finally turned around to face him.

        “Shoma—”

        His face was serious, gone was the kind Shoma, “Your wife has let me see your children more and more often. They’ve become comfortable with Yuzuru and I. Even to the point your wife has said that she wants her son to grow up like Yuzuru Nii-san and Shoma Nii-san. It would be a shame if your son were to share sake with me one day.”

        “You promised,” Nobunari paused his family much more important than his life at the moment.

        “If you succeed Keiji will ensure you and your family will have nothing to do with this organization. Right, Keiji?” asked Shoma. Keiji appeared from behind the door.

        “Of course Shoma,” said Keiji. Nobunari’s eyes widened, the realization he had been spied on hitting him.

        “Accompany him to Daisuke,” said Shoma.

        “Yes Shoma,” said Keiji. The two of them leave silently.

        Shoma sighed, exhausted. He lay down on his stomach, “Yuzuru you can come out now. I know you were listening to our conversation.”

        “Shoma,” Yuzuru paused, unsure what to say. He had been caught listening in.

        “I’m not angry just lay down next to me, there’s enough space for the both of us, I’ll talk to you about this tomorrow.” Yuzuru lay beside him, oddly calm.

        “Shoma, about what I wanted to tell you,” Yuzuru paused, “I don’t think I can—”

        “You know don’t you,” said Shoma. Yuzuru reached out for Shoma's hand and squeezed it tightly. It felt right, they both knew.

 

_Ten… acknowledgment_

 

        “Shoma, he’s been taken,” reported Nobunari.

        “How? He’s been carefully guarded and he knows how to fight.”

        “It wasn’t me, I swear. I think the men Daisuke’s sent to track Yuzuru down have finally caught onto his pattern, even if we’ve switched it up. They must’ve sent enough people to overwhelm our men and Yuzuru.”

        “Fuck,” Shoma swore, “where is he?”

        “I don’t know, Daisuke refused to tell me. I think he knows,” said Nobunari.

        “I will find him,” Shoma said, anger and determination evident in his voice. “And Nobu, your service to me is done, go home,” said Shoma.

        “I can’t just leave that kid to die,” said Nobunari.

        “You’re making a choice by doing this,” said Shoma.

        “It’s fine, that kid—” Nobunari paused, “he will succeed you no matter what. He will do everyone proud.”

        Shoma looked at Nobunari, satisfied, “Get Keiji, we will make sure Yuzuru will be able to change the world,” said Shoma.

 

_Rescue_

 

        “He’s in that house I’m sure of it,” said Nobunari.

        “As soon as we walk near it we will be ambushed,” said Keiji.

        “Will you two be able to hold them off?”

        “Of course Shoma, you do your best to free Yuzuru.”

 

_Trap_

 

        “You’ve walked right into this place knowing the kid could very well not be here,” said Daisuke.

        “I know he’s here Daisuke. You aren’t one for tricks, you still have your honor.”

        “And you know that I already know Nobunari is a rat,” said Daisuke.

        “I also know you wouldn’t dare to do anything to his family because the police have always liked me better. You’re becoming old and afraid Daisuke.”

        “Is that how you treat your Onii-san?”

        “We may have shared sake Daisuke,” said Shoma walking towards him, “but in our world, sometimes you have to make a choice.” Shoma pulled out his tanto knife and stabbed Daisuke. “I have chosen my family over yours.”

        “Oh, you’ll regret this kid. What makes you think that kid won’t don’t go you as you’ve done to me?”

        “He will never betray me,” said Shoma with confidence.

        “What makes you so sure Shoma? Just as this building is paper, so are relationships, easily flammable,” said Daisuke. He lifted up a lighter and before Shoma can do anything he drops it. A small fire began in the middle of the floor as Daisuke laughs, bleeding out. Shoma moved to stomp it out. He made his way to the door to try and find Yuzuru. “Kid, you’re years too early to try to take over this organization. That was a signal to light this whole thing on fire,” said Daisuke. Shoma looked up to see the building beginning to burn down.

        “Well, lucky thing is I am not the one who’s going to take over this organization. I’m also lucky I can stand fire for a little,” Shoma ripped off his shirt and the Phoenix on his back almost seems to come alive, the scarring completely gone. The flames are absorbed as he runs through the hallways to find Yuzuru.

        “YUZURU!” screamed out Shoma, trying desperately to find him.

        “Shoma,” replied Yuzuru faintly, Shoma rushed in the direction of Yuzuru’s voice to try and find him. He yanked the door open to the room Yuzuru is calling him from.

        “Yuzuru, are you alright?” asked Shoma. Yuzuru stood in the middle of maimed men, encompassed by a fire the men must have started when they were killed. He looked oddly at peace.

        “I’m fine, but these flames are a little too high for me. Don’t worry about me Shoma, you can still make it out of here alive.”

        “I’m glad Keiji taught you how to fight,” said Shoma, “and stop being ridiculous, I would never leave you alone. Now let’s get out of here.” Shoma reached out for Yuzuru and the flames are absorbed by Shoma’s tattoo.

        Yuzuru watched, amazed, “Thank you Shoma,” said Yuzuru.

        “Hold my hand Yuzu, this building is burning down and I—” Shoma is cut off.

        “Don’t explain, I think I know.” Their hands are joined as they run down through the fire; the fire is being absorbed by Shoma’s tattoo. It becomes more lifelike as it takes in more flames. They are able to make it out and find Keiji holding a severely injured Nobunari.

        “We did it boss,” Keiji said, exhausted. His blade is bloody and his suit is torn up but his face is preserved, unlike Nobunari.

        “Sorry I couldn’t make it out alive to watch Yuzuru succeed you Shoma,” said Nobunari. “I was supposed to make sure the transition went well.”

        “It’s fine, thank you Nobu. Your family will be safe. Keiji you will be rewarded for your loyalty,” said Shoma as he shared a look with Yuzuru, Yuzuru nodded, understanding Shoma's directive. The flames on Shoma's back started to burn his body as they become even more lifelike.

        “Shoma, the flames,” Yuzuru began to cry. The realization Shoma had sacrificed his life for him kicking in, Shoma wouldn't make it in this life either. Shoma embraced Yuzuru, close enough to share words only the two of them can hear.

        “We weren’t meant to share this life, my love. Do not die with me. You still have a life to live, just because we can’t together now doesn't mean we will not be able to in the future.”

        “S-shoma, you promised forever,” Yuzuru sobbed as the flames began to engulf him too; the flames do not burn Yuzuru, they seem to know him.

        “My ethereal prince,” said Shoma as he placed a hand on Yuzuru’s cheek. The flames make it way down his tattoo, Shoma’s arms begin to fade into pure flames. “Remember—eternity—until then, until you are sure we can spend more than these fleeting moments together: do not acknowledge me.” The flames seem to lick at Yuzuru’s face and then disappear. Shoma falls into ashes at Yuzuru’s feet.

 

        There is a rumor that one of the up and coming politicians is tied to the yakuza. They say that he has the tattoo of a swan, but no one has been able to see it for sure.

 

_“Second chance, close, but not yet.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer here: I love Nobunari and Daisuke. But the plot must go on.
> 
> Let me know if you like it!


	6. Act IV: Scene I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So if you've noticed the chapter titles have changed. I think I finally figured out formatting. 
> 
> Warning: This Act is more harrowing than the others. I will touch on a lot of painful experiences. A war in itself is a very difficult subject. I try not to explicitly mention anything but if you know your historical context about Japan in WWII and just WWII, in general, you will be able to catch some things.
> 
> I tried to be historically accurate as possible, but I am no expert on WWII or warfare. I did the best I could with the aid of the Internet and what school has taught me but we all know how biased that can be. 
> 
> This chapter will be spread out over parts just like the previous one.

        “Hi, my name is Hanyu Yuzuru I’m 23 years old,” said Yuzuru, dressed in his freshly issued military uniform. His uniform barely hung on his thin frame.

        “I’m Uno Shoma, I’m 20 years old,” said Shoma as he bowed to Yuzuru. His newly issued uniform a little too large on his small frame.

        Yuzuru smiled, friendly, “Nice to meet you! You can just speak to me informally, we’ll probably end up being good friends.” Shoma smiled softly; he knew he would be able to trust Yuzuru.

        “I’ve never seen these many people before,” admitted Shoma. It was the first time he had been out of his hometown in a while. There were lots of people with all kinds of emotions running amok it made Shoma anxious.

        “Neither have I. Never thought I’d see so many boys crammed into such a small space,” said Yuzuru. “Are you here because of mandatory conscription?”

        “Mhm,” Shoma nodded, “you too?”

        “Yup, I managed to pass the health test. But to be honest,” Yuzuru leaned in to whisper, “I think they’re getting desperate for new recruits because the war isn’t going the way they want it to. I mean I have some breathing problems and still managed to pass,” Shoma nodded in understanding. Shoma had seen boys from all over his hometown joining the army because of mandatory conscription, some of them who wouldn’t even last a day in training. Shoma could tell the government was getting desperate.

        “Where are you from?” asked Shoma, curious.

        “Sendai, how about you?” asked Yuzuru.

        “Nagoya,” answered Shoma, “we both had the long transport to reach here then.”

        “Were you crammed in a car too?” asked Yuzuru.

        “Mhm, they tried to recruit all the young men from our prefecture,” said Shoma.

        “Same for me,” said Yuzuru.

        A pensive look crossed Shoma’s face, “I signed up so my younger brother wouldn’t have to join. But the direction of the war makes me think he’ll be joining me soon enough.” Yuzuru placed a sympathetic hand on Shoma’s shoulder and Shoma smiled at him sadly. They both found comfort in each other. They were both still boys, yet to be forced into becoming men.

 

_Confiding_

 

        “How do you shoot so well?” asked Shoma, enviously staring at Yuzuru’s perfectly hit target.

        “I’m not sure, but you’re not half bad yourself,” said Yuzuru, “you can do the shots with the complex maneuvers.”

        “Yeah, but not 100% of the time, I have to get better,” said Shoma. Shoma and Yuzuru had become fast friends. Shoma worked hard quietly and Yuzuru kept him company, chatting and making friends with the rest of the recruits. Shoma was encouraged by Yuzuru’s presence, he pushed himself to improve so they could advance in training together.

        “Let’s work hard together,” said Yuzuru.

        “Of course—” Shoma was interrupted by the sound of a whistle that told them to change training stations. They ran their way over not wanting to be late. Shoma and Yuzuru managed to make it just as the instructor begins to explain their next activity. Yuzuru panted heavily and Shoma looked over concerned.

        “It’s fine, I just need a moment,” said Yuzuru catching his breath.

        “Are you sure?” whispered back Shoma, “We have to do suicides now.”

        “I’m sure, I just need to practice my breathing exercises and I’ll be fine.” Shoma made sure to run by Yuzuru the whole time to keep an eye on him. Yuzuru smiled appreciatively, he actually felt like he was about to collapse. His lungs were not used to the amount of exertion he was going through. However, seeing Shoma trying so hard and keeping an eye on him made Yuzuru try to be positive for the both of them.

 

_Support_

 

        Both of the boys collapsed on their futon, their bodies were torn apart during training. “Ew, I smell like 10 years worth of sweat,” said Yuzuru as he flung his arms around. Shoma rolled over to avoid being hit in the face. “But everything hurts and I’d much rather smell then move,” said Yuzuru.

        They had been training for a week, basics that would ensure they would last more than a day. It was a crash course to force boys into the mold of men.

        “We both smell disgusting,” said Shoma sniffing his training shirt and proceeding to hold his nose.

        “Maybe we should take a shower,” said Yuzuru. Shoma grinned at the thought, they were prevented from washing up to help prepare them for the day to day lifestyle of warfare. But they had finally earned the privilege to take a bath after finishing basic training.

        “We should use the hot water while we can,” said Shoma as he forced his body up. Yuzuru offered his arms like limp noodles and Shoma hauled him up.

        “Let’s get clean!” exclaimed Yuzuru throwing an arm around Shoma. Shoma shared a shy smile with Yuzuru. He liked being close with Yuzuru. Yuzuru was easy to be around.

        They managed to make it to the bathhouse without stopping too often to talk to friends. “Shoma, Yuzuru, are you here to finally take a bath?” asked Keiji. Keiji was recruited a little earlier than Shoma and Yuzuru so he was done with the basic training. He had managed to rank up as much as you could without engaging in actual warfare. He was stuck at the training camp because his unit had to wait to get enough recruits to be deployed.

        “Yup, finally finished our basic training!” said Yuzuru. They were greeted by the rest of their unit in various states of undress getting ready to take a bath. Yuzuru and Shoma stripped and grabbed towels. Yuzuru proceeded to greet everyone happily, making his way around and conversing with all the different men. Shoma let Yuzuru drag him around with only a towel as he respectfully greeted the rest of his unit.

        “Yuzuru if we want to use the hot water we need to go in soon,” said Shoma.

        “You should listen to Shoma-kun,” said Keiji, “the hot water doesn’t last long at training camp.”

        “Okay, okay I’m going,” said Yuzuru laughing as Shoma pushed him towards the communal bathing area.

        “I can wash your back Yuzuru,” said Shoma quietly.

        Yuzuru smiled and ruffled Shoma’s hair, “I’ll wash your back after, thank you Shoma.” Shoma felt his heart warm.

 

_Friendship_

 

        “Do you know where we’re being sent?” asked Yuzuru as they sat next to each other on the plane. They had been at training camp for three weeks before their unit was deemed ready to be deployed. Both of the boys suspected that the situation in one of the countries was worsening and they needed bodies.

        “I’m not really sure, they wouldn’t tell us until we landed. They said something about not wanting us to lose our morale or something,” said Shoma, he fell quiet. He didn’t feel ready. The training didn’t feel real, but now as he sat on the plane, everything seemed to come crashing down.

        “Are you okay?” asked Yuzuru, his concerned voice jolted Shoma out of his train of thought.

        “Yeah, just my first time on a plane,” said Shoma.

        “Oh, mine too,” Yuzuru reached out an subtly squeezed Shoma’s hand. They often shared and reassured each other’s unspoken fears this way. They would make it through this together.

 

_Safety_

 

        “I c-can’t do this,” said Shoma, head buried in Yuzuru’s shoulder, muffling his sobs. Yuzuru, eyes haunted rubbed Shoma’s back. They had finally stopped their relentless trek to their base camp and managed to find a tent to share. They had begun to debrief everything they saw today, both unable to sleep. They had faced each other on their sleeping pads, shaken, trying to find comfort and some semblance of normalcy.

        Death, so much death. Bodies layered on top of each other, injured, bleeding. Too much for either of their young minds to process. As soon as they entered the camp the scent of death and illness prevailed the camp. Everyone’s face was utterly defeated, it was disturbing and disheartening.

        Nothing they had done in camp had prepared them for this, they were rapidly becoming young men.

        “It’s okay Shoma,” said Yuzuru half-heartedly, trying to convince himself as well. Shoma nestled deeper into Yuzuru’s shoulder, still sobbing.

        “I’ve never seen someone just bleed out like that,” Shoma choked. The horrible image of the soldiers after soldiers carried in bleeding profusely. Some of them missing limbs, eyes empty and exhausted.

        Yuzuru nodded, he too was still processing what he had seen. When he had thought of war, he thought he was prepared. But nothing, nothing had prepared him for what he had seen. He desperately wanted to go home. He wanted to be safe with his family. Shoma’s arms wrapped around Yuzuru’s waist as if he sensed his thoughts. His sobbing weakened to choked back tears. Shoma tried to piece himself back together for both of them. He did not want to have to burden Yuzuru for too long when both of them were suffering.

        “Yuzuru, why do people fight” asked Shoma.

        “I don’t know Shoma,” said Yuzuru, “I don’t know.”

 

_Shock_

 

        “No, I’m okay—I will play cards with my friend,” said Shoma, visibly uncomfortable as one of his comrades approached him to visit the women in the camp.

        “Come on, let off some steam Shoma,” said one of the men.

        “No, I don’t want to touch any of them,” said Shoma firmly.

        “Why not? It’s not like—” Shoma felt anger bubble up in him and before he can do anything a firm hand was placed on his shoulder.

        “Shoma is going to play cards with Yuzuru and me,” said Keiji. “And you really shouldn’t be doing those kinds of things,” said Keiji. Both of the men’s eyes widened, Keiji had the higher rank over both of them.

        “Thank you Keiji,” said Shoma as he let out a sigh of relief as Keiji led him back to Shoma and Yuzuru’s tent.

        “I know that you hate everything about this just as much as I do. If I could I would try and free those women, but they wouldn’t be able to get very far and my head would be shot off before I could do anything to help them,” whispered Keiji.

        “They should not be treating women like that,” Shoma said angrily, frustration still bubbling under the surface. They both entered the tent where Yuzuru attempted to make tea from tea leaves used almost ten times over.

        “Did you get sidetracked on your way to the bathroom Shoma? I was almost convinced you fell into your pee or a monkey attacked you on your way back,” said Yuzuru. Shoma laughed, strained, the incident still fresh in his mind. “Come here,” said Yuzuru, patting the spot next to him, he immediately sensed something was wrong. Shoma set next to Yuzuru and Yuzuru rubbed Shoma’s back gently. The anger diffused out of him through the almost magical touch of Yuzuru’s fingertips.

        “You coddle him too much,” said Keiji. He rolled his eyes at the two of them affectionately.

        “He’s only 20,” defended Yuzuru.

        “And we’re only 23.”

        “We need to do whatever we can to stay sane Keiji,” said Yuzuru.

        “You aren’t wrong. I hate that some of our men think it’s okay to use women to do that,” said Keiji. Yuzuru’s jaw tightened, he suddenly understood why Shoma was so upset.

        “Who are we to say we’re in the right in this war?” questioned Yuzuru.

        “Don’t say that too loud,” said Keiji, lowering his voice, “you’re right though.”

        “What are we even fighting for?” asked Shoma.

 

_Discomfort_

 

        “If you thought the walk here was hard, you were wrong. The next week will be filled with every awful thing you can imagine. A forest is a terrifying place and our enemies will use this as an advantage,” said the commanding officer. Yuzuru scooted closer to Shoma to nudge him awake. They had been doing training drills day in and day out to prepare themselves for the forest.

        Shoma was beginning to fall asleep on his feet. He liked to sleep but could stay awake if he needed. However, he was running on close to 2-3 hours of sleep—not nearly enough. “Shoma, let’s partner up,” said Yuzuru.

        “Huh?” asked Shoma, confused, he had zoned out during the commanding officer’s speech.

        “He just said make sure to have a buddy so you can watch each other's back just in case. This is in addition to the rest of the people in your unit,” summarized Yuzuru. Shoma nodded in thanks and secretly squeezed Yuzuru’s hand in acceptance. The two of them still found comfort in their shared small touches. Being able to know each other was near was comforting in the foreign, hostile environment.

 

_Comfort_

 

        “No, no, no,” Yuzuru said panting heavily as he ran and ran half guiding, half dragging an injured Shoma along. Shoma had managed to jump out of the way of the landmine but was still hit by flying debris. His leg had been crushed under rubble and Yuzuru had just managed to pull him out before they were ambushed by guerilla fighters. The rest of their unit ended up scattering, their leader crushed by debris yelled at them to regroup at the next base camp. All of them young, inexperienced, and scared scattered.

        “Yuzuru, Yuzuru, stop,” panted Shoma, exhausted. “We need to regroup,” said Shoma. Shoma with his remaining strength yanked Yuzuru toward him, they fell into a huge bush and are poked on all sides by branches. Shoma used his hands to push them toward the bottom. Yuzuru used his hands to push the crushed branches back up. The sound of crunching leaves cause both of them to pause, they covered their mouths and noses, silent.

        “Are there any more?” asked a soldier in English.

        “No, no wrong direction,” said the other soldier. A loud sound is heard, someone being shot. The feet of the soldiers move towards the sound and away from Shoma and Yuzuru.

        Yuzuru and Shoma looked at each other with fear in their eyes, not daring to move. They sat there, silent and afraid. A good amount of time passed before Shoma dared to poke his head out. He signaled to Yuzuru that it is clear and they wearily extracted themselves from the bush. “Is your leg okay?” asked Yuzuru, he touched Shoma’s injured leg and Shoma grits his teeth.

        “It hurts, but it isn’t bad, we need to get moving before it gets any darker.”

        “Let’s go, I know the way from here I think,” said Yuzuru. They both moved quickly into the encroaching darkness, scared and glad to be alive.

 

_Fear_

 

        “You both made it,” Keiji said as he grabbed Shoma’s other arm from Yuzuru. “I was afraid you wouldn’t make it.”

        “So was I,” said Yuzuru. Yuzuru had to help support Shoma part way to the next base. Shoma’s leg was more injured than they both initially thought. They had progressed a lot slower than they wanted. They had just managed to make it before it became pitch black.

        “He needs medical attention,” said Yuzuru.

        “You both do, I’ll show you to the tent. Brief me on what happened. We lost contact with your commanding officer after the landmine went off,” said Keiji. Shoma and Yuzuru’s faces fall somber.

        “He was crushed and told us to regroup here,” said Yuzuru. Keiji nodded solemnly.

        “This is Daisuke, the medic for this base,” introduced Keiji as he helped Shoma to sit down. Keiji shared a nod with Daisuke before exiting the tent. Yuzuru tensed up at that name for some reason, his hand is suddenly on Shoma’s shoulder and Shoma looked up, tired and confused.

        “You’ve got a good friend there,” said Daisuke, recognizing the protective bond formed from shared trauma. He had seen too many traumatized boys forced to rely on each other, the recruits were getting younger and more inexperienced as the war went on, “He’s really worried about you.”  
“Yuzu, it’s fine, he won’t hurt us,” said Shoma, “he’s a professional.” Shoma and Yuzuru’s eyes meet and a silent conversation passes between them.

        “I don’t think I’ve ever done anything to make you cautious but please, sit down,” said Daisuke. He was used to dealing with skittish patients, “You two can be treated together if it makes you feel better.” Yuzuru sat down, unsure why he was uneasy about the doctor he had never met. Shoma trusted him and so would Yuzuru.

        “You are acting as if he has wronged you in a past life,” said Shoma. As soon as those words come out of his mouth they both feel something spark. Their eyes immediately find each other.  

        “If I did something like that, I apologize,” said Daisuke, “but I can’t help you if you don’t show me your leg.”

        “Sorry, sorry,” Shoma showed his leg to Daisuke who began to speedily work on it.

        “Nobunari,” commanded Daisuke, “see to the kid’s wounds, make sure to clean all of them.” Nobunari approached Yuzuru and helped to remove his tattered clothes. He begins to apply alcohol.

        “For some odd reason I feel as if all of us knew each other at some point,” said Nobunari.

        “We might have Nobu, but this war doesn’t seem to care about any of those types of things. It kills anyone and everyone. I’ve never seen so many dead,” said Daisuke. All of them nod in agreement.

 

_Spark_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a reason for everything I promise. So before all of you ask me about the three chances, don't worry it's still a thing.
> 
> Let me know what you thought of this chapter. I probably won't be able to update as quickly as I have been—I need to buckle down on some studying I've been avoiding.
> 
> Here are some nice pictures of Shoma and Yuzuru if this chapter was too sad:  
> [Oversized Jacket on Shoma](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DWN7_GZU8AUqDgw.jpg)  
> [Dramatic Yuzuru](https://www.asahicom.jp/articles/images/AS20170423002090_commL.jpg)  
> [Proud Yuzu and Soft Shoma](https://www.japantimes.co.jp/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/sp-wrapup9-k-20180219.jpg)


	7. Act IV: Scene II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know I said that I was going to take a break from writing and focus on studying. But to be completely honest I took one look at the fic and I was like I need to write more. Once I get in the zone I can't stop until I finish.
> 
> Don't worry I'm still studying, I just took a break to write an update.
> 
> Warning: This chapter is hard. I had to take several breaks to just do something else (study) to write. The people who participate in a war are changed fundamentally from it and never come back the same. I touch a little bit on PTSD and some of the trauma that comes with war. Once again nothing extremely explicit but still can be hard for some people.
> 
> Here is a cute gif of them before you start reading this hard stuff: [Young Sho and Yuzu](http://78.media.tumblr.com/67d668ca03e7aeb67c625ad63249654a/tumblr_onv001kL1M1ty4cy5o2_250.gif)

        “I can’t wait for this war to end,” Shoma admitted to Yuzuru. They both sat across from each other, dirty, smelly, and exhausted. The war had dragged on longer than anyone had anticipated. They left to fight for their country, foolishly brave boys and now all they wanted was to return home.

        “We could get in trouble for saying that,” said Yuzuru.

        “I just want to see my parents again,” said Shoma.

        “So do I Sho, but here we are marching for hours on end fighting in a war for our nation.”

        “I wasn’t cut out for warfare,” said Shoma. He began to prepare his rations.

        “Neither was I.” Yuzuru followed Shoma’s actions, preparing his own rations.

        “Do you know how long we’ll be stuck at this post?” asked Shoma. He placed a bite of food into his mouth, his face contorted at the taste. “Gross, I miss real food.”

        “I think we move on in two days,” answered Yuzuru. He took a bite of his own food, his face mimicked Shoma’s, “I want to eat my mother’s food again.”

        “So do I, I want to take a real shower,” complained Shoma.

        “A real shower would be nice,” said Yuzuru, beginning to daydream. Shoma slapped him on the shoulder.

        “Stop daydreaming or else your whole face might be eating your rations,” said Shoma.

        “You must daydream too Shoma,” said Yuzuru.

        “Of course, when we walk for hours on end I daydream about being able to wear my own clothes, comfortable and not scratchy,” said Shoma.

        “That sounds amazing, military issue clothing irritates my skin,” said Yuzuru.

        “Everything about the military is—” Shoma paused.

        “You know sometimes I think if I hadn’t joined the military my life would’ve been a lot easier,” said Shoma.

        “Yeah, but wouldn’t you have to work in the factories,” said Yuzuru.

        “I’d rather do that than be forced to see all of the atrocities we commit in the name of winning this war,” said Shoma. “I’m no longer innocent, I have chosen to take people’s lives and at what cost? I have torn apart people’s families all—” Shoma paused. Yuzuru looked at him, his eyes sad. They had seen too much and done too much. They were men now. They could no longer claim to be boys.

 

_Conversation_

 

        Shoma awoke to a whack by Yuzuru’s arm in the middle of the night. He bit back a groan and looked over at Yuzuru. Yuzuru was thrashing in his sleep as if he was plagued by a nightmare. Shoma reached over and stopped when he heard his name being called out, “Shoma, don’t—” Yuzuru mumbled to himself. Yuzuru suddenly stopped and sat upright, sweat running down his face.

        “Yuzu, are you okay?” asked Shoma softly as he sat up. Yuzuru looked over at Shoma, spooked. Yuzuru looked as if he wasn’t quite grounded in reality yet.

        “Shoma?” asked Yuzuru, not believing it was him. His breathing was erratic, on the verge of hyperventilating. Shoma gently grabbed Yuzuru’s hand and placed it on his chest. Yuzuru breathed slowly, syncing his breathing with Shoma’s chest rising and falling in even measures.

        “I’m here Yuzu,” said Shoma, “I’m here.” Shoma watched Yuzuru as the cogs in his brain whirred to make sense of what was happening. Yuzuru’s breathing evened out and Yuzuru began to cry. Shoma offered his arms and Yuzuru dived into Shoma’s embrace.

        “I thought,” Yuzuru paused, still trying to get his thoughts together. He had dreamt of losing Shoma. It was as if he had been torn from him before, over and over again he failed to save Shoma. The same scenes replayed over and over again. A never-ending cycle, a vicious rebirth.

        They had died together, a feeling of desperation to be able to live their lives together overwhelmed him. When it almost felt as if he was going to burst he was forced to see Shoma dead in some battlefield far away, Yuzuru unable to reach him. It felt as if he was being torn apart by guilt and pain. As if he was ready to take his life for what he had done to Shoma. Then Shoma died again, bursting into flames right in front of his face. Immense pain welled up in his body, years of loneliness seemed to compound into one. It was too much. Feeling too many lives at once.

        “Hey,” said Shoma softly as he stroked Yuzuru’s hair. “You don’t need to tell me if you aren’t ready.”

        “I don’t think I would be able to cope if I lost you again,” admitted Yuzuru softly.

        “Again?” asked Shoma.

        “Again, I almost lost you to the landmine,” Yuzuru paused. Yuzuru took a deep breath, “I’ve failed every single time Shoma. I—”

        Shoma pressed a kiss to the top of Yuzuru’s head, “I am equally at fault Yuzuru. I have failed you too, the blame does not belong to you solely.”

        “Tell me the story,” said Yuzuru, “maybe that will keep us going in this war.”

        “Okay,” Shoma stroked Yuzuru’s back as he painted the story of the Phoenix boy and the prince. He knew deep down that this was their story. That it was a story he had heard and lived many times over. Both of them began to feel sleep pull at them.

        “Shoma,” said Yuzuru tiredly as they lay next to each other.

        “Mhm.”

        “One day, I will tell you the same story the way my mother told me,” said Yuzuru.

        “Okay,” said Shoma. “I will look forward to that Yuzu.”

 

_Sharing_

 

        “We will be separating into units and will reunite in one month,” said the commanding officer. “I am now announcing the units—” Shoma began to zone out as the commander listed the people. Yuzuru nudged him when the commander stopped speaking a look of worry had crossed his usually optimistic face.

        “What’s wrong Yuzu?” asked Shoma.

        “He said we’re in different units,” said Yuzuru. Shoma nodded and then paused, the words finally hitting him.

        “What?”

        “We’re in different units, for a month,” said Yuzuru.

        “Why?” asked Shoma, worried.

        “I don’t know,” said Yuzuru. Worries flickered through his head, afraid to lose Shoma again. He would not be there to watch his back.

        “Don’t worry Yuzuru, I’ll be with Shoma,” said Keiji patting Yuzuru’s back, “I’ll make sure he comes back to you in one piece.”

        “I’ll be with you Yuzuru,” said Nobunari cheerfully. Shoma let out a sigh of relief, he trusted Nobunari.

        “But—” Yuzuru paused, he looked at Shoma and all of his fears seemed to flash through his eyes. Shoma walked up to Yuzuru and talked in a hushed tone, quiet enough for only the two of them to hear. Yuzuru began to nod and he squeezed Shoma’s hands.

        “They're so cute,” said Nobunari to Daisuke who had walked up to bid everyone goodbye.

        “Too bad they’re stuck fighting this war instead of being together and living life like actual young men should be,” said Daisuke.

        “Can you even say that?” asked Keiji.

        “They need a doctor,” said Daisuke. Shoma seemed to have exchanged something with Yuzuru before they part.

        “Alrighty Yuzuru, I’ll introduce you to some of the members of your unit. They’ll love you,” said Nobunari. His upbeat natured helped to distract Yuzuru and Shoma was grateful.

        “Are you ready Shoma?” asked Keiji. Shoma nodded and the two of them walked in the opposite direction.

 

_Parting_

 

        “Keiji, how much longer?” asked Shoma. They sat, encrusted with dirt and sweat.

        “Until you’re reunited with your lovely Yuzuru?” asked Keiji. Shoma blushed and shook his head.

        “No, I wanted to know how long until we can move, my legs are going numb,” said Shoma. “Besides I already know how long until we see each other again,” mumbled Shoma.

        Keiji ruffled his hair, “Just until the scouts say it’s clear.” As soon as he said that the all clear sign is shown and they both stand up and move to the next position.

 

_Separation_

 

        “Nobu I miss Shoma,” complained Yuzuru as he turned over to face Nobunari.

        “I know, you’ve told me this every day since you two parted,” said Nobunari, tired and just wanting to sleep.

        “What do you do when you miss your family?” asked Yuzuru. He missed his parents and his sister. He wanted to go home, take Shoma with him too.

        “Well, I re-read letters and think about how long until we see each other again. I try to focus on the present and not dwell too much on the past or else I miss them too much.”

        “I haven’t heard from my family in a long time,” admitted Yuzuru.

        “I’m sure they’re just busy,” said Nobunari, “besides it’s hard to get letters out here.”

        “You’re right, maybe I’m worrying for no reason.”

        “Just try to rest. Maybe when you reunite with Shoma you’ll also get a letter. The camp we’re meeting at has better mail reception.”

 

_Missing_

 

        “Where’s Yuzuru?” asked Shoma as soon as they arrive at the camp. It had been a long month. Spent trekking through the treacherous jungle and fighting imaginary enemies. At some points, it felt as if they were going insane. There was nothing for days and days and then suddenly a tip and then nothing. At other times they’d be running through the jungle away from enemies that knew the forest like the back of their hand. It was absolutely terrifying.

        Shoma had lost comrades left and right, some of them picked off in the middle of the night. Others caught in traps and landmines. Some of the injured had taken their lives in fear of being a burden to the unit. Shoma wanted nothing to do with war anymore. He had lost so much in such a short amount of time.

        “Shoma, we need to talk to you,” said Keiji. His face was serious, Shoma felt his heart drop, “Yuzuru cannot talk to you right now he is being treated—” Keiji paused, his face turned hard.

        “Is he okay?” asked Shoma, worried. His heart was beating quickly, he should’ve been able to sense if something was wrong. They were connected in that way. They always seemed to know if the other one was okay.

        “He’s getting treated for minor wounds, he’s fine—” Keiji looked at him seriously. “Shoma please follow me.” Keiji led Shoma to the commanding officer’s tent and Shoma’s heart seemed to beat out of his chest. He had done nothing wrong, why would the commanding officer want to see him. Keiji squeezed his shoulder to reassure him.

        Shoma entered the tent and is greeted by a solemn-faced room of commanding officers, “Uno, please sit,” said the head officer. Shoma sat in the provided seat, his face schooled into blankness.

        “We regret to inform you that Nagoya was firebombed,” said the officer. Shoma felt as if his world crashed down. The words the officer said only ringed emptily in his ears. None of it registered as they offered him condolences. All that stuck was Nagoya. Firebombing. Status of the civilians unsure.

        Shoma exited the tent numbly, Keiji grabbed his elbow and led him to the medical tent. “Yuzuru is in here,” said Keiji. Shoma allowed Keiji to lead him to Yuzuru, biting back tears and frustration at being unable to see his family. He had no way to know if they were okay. His home was attacked and he couldn’t even be with his family.

        Yuzuru laughed at Nobunari’s joke and raised his hand to greet Shoma, excited to see him once more. His face fell when he saw Shoma’s stormy face. “Shoma?”

        “Oh he’s back, you can stop complaining about him now—” Nobunari paused as he saw the grin fall off of Yuzuru’s face. Nobunari turned around to see Shoma and Keiji. Nobunari registered the mood and gets up to offer Shoma his seat. Shoma smiled tiredly and sat down in front of Yuzuru. Nobunari squeezed Shoma’s shoulder and walked away with Keiji. The tent empties relatively quickly as people finish getting their treatment. They sat in silence, Yuzuru reached out and grabbed Shoma’s hand. It was limp and Yuzuru felt his heart pound. Shoma’s comforting warmth was gone, he felt cold.

        “Yuzu,” Shoma’s bottom lip trembled and Yuzuru felt his heart break in two. “Nagoya,” Shoma began to sob. “Firebombed, the city was firebombed,” Shoma choked out. Yuzuru felt his heart drop. Yuzuru brought Shoma in for a hug, their knees bumped and it was uncomfortable but neither of them cared.

        “I’m here for you,” was all Yuzuru could say. He could not apologize because apologies would not reassure Shoma. He could not tell him to be strong. He could not force feed Shoma optimism. He felt powerless. Completely and utterly powerless. He couldn’t even begin to imagine what Shoma felt.

        “Yuzuru I just want to go home,” said Shoma, voice weak.

        Yuzuru tugged Shoma in tighter, “So do I Shoma, so do I.”

 

_Grief_

 

        “WHY?” screamed Yuzuru, “why, why, why?” He pounded the training post until his hands bled, raw. Shoma rushed over from his own training.

        “Yuzu, stop, please,” begged Shoma.

        “I can’t do this anymore Shoma, I want to go home,” Shoma led Yuzuru away from the group after sharing a look with the drill head. The drill head nodded and turned his head away.  Everyone was slowly losing it. News from back home said Japan was beginning to look at the surrender. However, American forces continued to bomb Japanese cities. Everyone was receiving ominous news of the status of their families. Morale was low and everyone just wanted to be at home.

        “Shoma, my sister, my mother, my father,” there was so much anger and hurt in Yuzuru’s eyes as he turns to meet Shoma’s.

        “I’m here,” said Shoma, “I know how it feels.” Yuzuru crushed Shoma into a hug.

        “I don’t want any of this, I never did. I’m tired to the very bones,” said Yuzuru. “Dead, ¼ of the population injured,” Yuzuru began to shake. His tears drained, both of them exhausted from grief. Shoma’s warm hands provided a small comfort to Yuzuru.

        “We’ve already lost so much, how much longer?”

 

_Pain_

 

        “We’re going home!” said Nobunari, excited.

        “Really?” asked Yuzuru, excited.

        “Yeah, we have to stop in Hiroshima first but then we’re going to be able to go home. Apparently, they have the transportation lined up for us at the training camp and everything!” Yuzuru felt his heart beat with excitement, he would be able to finally go home. He would have to rebuild what was left of his life but he would be able to go home.

        “SHOMA! We’re going home!” exclaimed Yuzuru as Shoma entered the tent. Yuzuru ran over and gave Shoma a huge hug. A large smile bloomed on Shoma’s face.

        “When?” asked Shona.

        “Once we make it to the transport point we can go home,” answered Keiji as he entered behind Shoma.

        “I told Yuzuru, but we have to stop in Hiroshima first then we can go home,” said Nobunari. Shoma couldn’t help but feel dread pool in his stomach at those words. He couldn’t figure out why.

        _Optimism_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dramatic irony here I come  
> Here are some therapeutic gifs:  
> [Getting "married"](http://78.media.tumblr.com/0e1d5d4d4b01a295818e939c60914928/tumblr_og8zlkJwFA1qken7mo8_r1_400.gif)  
> [Waving](http://78.media.tumblr.com/1077f89b82591e3f18211c4fb5604483/tumblr_o123msxIBI1ty4cy5o1_r1_540.gif)  
> [Head Pats](http://78.media.tumblr.com/266875ad9c66f376b8a46f2ec9508f58/tumblr_njkrheZzUI1ty4cy5o1_500.gif)


	8. Act IV: Scene III

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bittersweetness time.

        Yuzuru and Shoma sat together in their room, excited to finally go home. They were impatient, scared, and hopeful to find their families. “We will keep in contact and meet up again,” Yuzuru paused and took a deep breath, “and figure out what to do.” Shoma nodded the unspoken agreement they would reunite once they found out about the situation of their respective families.

        “This is our last night together like this,” said Shoma. “Do you still have what I gave you?” asked Shoma as he pulled out his dog tag. A small copper swan hung on it.

        “Don’t say it like that, it sounds like we’ll never see each other again,” said Yuzuru. “I have it right here,” said Yuzuru as he reached into his shirt and pulled out a copper phoenix.

        “Imagine that we had charms from the story that only the two of seem to know,” said Shoma.

        “I was surprised when you shared your story and showed me the charm,” said Yuzuru. “Can I keep this until we see each other again?” asked Yuzuru.

        “That’s a good idea,” said Shoma, “to be honest whenever I missed you I held onto the charm. It made me feel like you were nearer to me.”

        “You missed me?” asked Yuzuru excited.

        “Of course,” said Shoma, blushing.

        “I missed you too,” said Yuzuru as he ruffled Shoma’s hair. Both of them were extremely pleased to know they missed each other when they were separated.

        “You know what, it’s the perfect time for me to tell you the version of the story I heard,” said Yuzuru. Shoma yawned and nodded. Their trek to get back to the transport point was long and continuous. The traveling to get to Hiroshima took a while as well. Shoma was exhausted. “Are you tried Shoma? I can always tell you tomorrow. We have so much time now,” said Yuzuru.

        “You should tell me tomorrow, but,” Shoma paused. “I think that we have some other things to talk about before that.” Shoma felt as if this moment was a perfect time. They would be able to find each other easily once they completed what they needed to do.

        “What do you mean?” asked Yuzuru.

        “Let’s talk about us,” said Shoma.

        “What about us?”

        “What we are,” said Shoma as he looked seriously at Yuzuru.

        “Who we _really_ are?” asked Yuzuru. Yuzuru understood. This was their last chance and they would be able to spend their last mortal life together until they died. Shoma nodded his head, he reached for Yuzuru’s hand and squeezed it. Shoma’s warmth surged through Yuzuru. “Are you sure?”

        “I think this is our last chance,” said Shoma. Shoma had a feeling it would be their last chance to be able to live their lives like this. They needed to share who they were to be able to—

        “We need to do this to spend eternity together don’t we?” asked Yuzuru as if he had read Shoma’s mind.

        “Do you want to spend eternity together?”

        “I wouldn’t be able to imagine passing on into eternity without you,” said Yuzuru a wide smile on his face. Shoma felt his face heat up, a smile blooming on his face. Yuzuru placed a hand on Shoma’s chin, tilting it up to face him. He leaned in and pressed a kiss to Shoma’s lips. It felt as if sparks had gone off as soon as their lips connected. Something was clicking. They part, breathing heavily as if they had just experienced multiple lifetimes at once. They knew what to do, what to say. The time had come.

        Yuzuru interlocked both of their fingers and locked eyes with Shoma. “Shoma Uno, fire elemental. I acknowledge you,” said Yuzuru, his eyes lit up blue for a moment. A feeling of cold shot through Shoma’s body and his body was left tingling.

        “Yuzuru Hanyu, ice elemental. I acknowledge you,” said Shoma, his eyes burned red as flames seem to race down his body and into Yuzuru. Yuzuru’s body heated up in a flash and immediately cooled down.

        Their exchange of words forced every single life they shared to surge through their minds—for an instant, their minds were fully connected. Their joined hands light up with flame and ice, power surged through their bodies. Their eyes connect and they share a smile; their souls bound to each other, they would be able to pass on together.

        “Eternity my Phoenix,” said Yuzuru, he kissed Shoma and their power receded. Their memories were restored, every single moment, every single life they shared present in their mind.

        “Eternity my Prince,” said Shoma, Yuzuru pressed their foreheads together. Shoma allowed their power to surge together, become comfortable in their mortal bodies. Both of their heads furrow, a vision, “We will not make it this time either love.”

        “War. Always. It separates us every time. These men and warfare, every lifetime we’ve shared our mortal lives are caught up in violence,” said Yuzuru.

        “We have a choice love, to preserve our lives or try and save the lives of many others,” said Shoma.

        “And we will do what is right,” said Yuzuru. They looked at each other sadly.

        “We may not be able to spend our time together on this mortal plane but we will spend eternity together love,” said Shoma.

        “That’s what is important,” said Yuzuru, he caressed Shoma’s face gently, so much love in his face. Their entire beings seemed to radiate love.

        “We will go to the center together, there we can ensure our power will scatter with our bodies. It should save those who are further out, but it cannot save everyone.”

        “These humans and their self-destructing ways,” said Yuzuru. “Even our power is not enough to save everyone.”

        “If only we were not tied down by these mortal bodies,” said Shoma.

        “But then we would be unable to spend time together like this. Besides, we would be violating the rules of interference in human lives,” said Yuzuru.

        “Of course, we can only use what our human bodies can stand without breaking down,” said Shoma.

        “That’s why you had to leave me Nii-san,” said Yuzuru.

        Shoma grimaced, “I still cannot believe we were yakuza.”

        “The tattoo was quite attractive love,” said Yuzuru with a giggle. Shoma rolled his eyes and pushed Yuzuru over.

        “Well you got one to match, so who am I to say anything,” said Shoma. He leaned down and kissed Yuzuru. They part, eyes saddened. They would not be able to do this on the mortal plane ever again. There was something different about being together, confined by flesh and constraints. It made time and pain tangible. It made love all the more worth it.

        “We can’t even spend a night together,” said Yuzuru. “I can’t believe in all of our mortal lives we’ve only done it once,” said Yuzuru, “why were you such a prude?”

        “Excuse me, it’s not like I get to choose how our rebirth works,” said Shoma, “we’re stuck with the mortal body and personality we get. Besides, there were no appropriate times to do it.”

        “Details, details,” said Yuzuru.

        “We have eternity to do it,” said Shoma.

        Yuzuru giggled, “But it doesn’t feel the same, human bodies are amusing,” said Yuzuru. Shoma flopped himself on Yuzuru, causing the man to groan.

        “Very amusing,” said Shoma, “let’s cuddle until we need to go.” Yuzuru pecked Shoma several times and stroked his hair.

        "Anything you want love.”

 

_Reunited_

 

        They sat together in the building that would be hit the hardest. They were not allowed to warn anyone of what was to come. It would violate every single rule in the rulebook. However, they could use their power as they liked. And if it was to spare the lives of some they would do so, gladly.

        Time seemed to slow down, they share a kiss and then embrace. The dropping of the bomb appeared to have slowed for them. Time bends from their combined power. “I love you,” whispered Yuzuru.

        “I love you too,” replied Shoma. Their power surged forth—intertwining blues and reds—resulting in a bright burst of light at impact; their bodies are destroyed in an instant, but their power shatters and spreads. It covers as many as it can, latching on to those who have a chance to survive.

        They have become one.

 

_Death_

 

_“Ahem, you said Shoma and Yuzuru would be able to spend a lifetime together on the mortal plane,” said a beautiful woman as she stormed up to one of the overseers of Earth. He sat peering over the flickering events of Japan. All of them filtered into his mind at once, quickly and continuously._

_“We can’t exactly control what the Americans do. This is the Japanese sector of Gods. We foresaw the American forces accepting the surrender not destroying millions of civilians. To make it worse we can’t interfere, that is much too large of an interference. Instead, we are forced to watch.”_

_“My Yuzuru and Shoma are doing what they can to protect the people and they won’t even be able to spend one life together?”_

_“My dear, what’s wrong,” asked a handsome man as he walked in. He placed a gentle hand on the woman’s shoulder. “We need to help answer some prayers for those we can save.”_

_“This idiot is telling me our son will be joining us sooner than he should be. I will answer all of those prayers once my son can live a happy life. What is the point of our power if we cannot be happy in the mortal plane even once?”_

_“You do not want him to take his place with us as a God? Shoma-kun will be in his rightful place as well. They will still be together.”_

_“That is not the point.”_

_“His parents miss him. Time is insignificant to us, but they still miss their precious son.” The man was faced with a fierce glare. “Of course dear, I will see what I can do.”_

_“You seemed to have retained the power of Queen even though you’ve left the mortal plane a long time ago,” commented the overseer, still focused on watching the events of Earth._

_“My partner couldn’t come with me because we’re linked up here. So, I had to go alone. Our baby was sent to me in the form of a swan once I was old enough in mortal years. Although he was still less than a day old in our time, it felt as if I was separated from him for forever.”_

_“You’ve at least been able to raise him. I have never been able to talk to our son,” said the man wistfully. The woman squeezed his hand._

_“We all have to spend some time as a mortal, especially the Gods with insurmountable power. Yuzuru was born with so much power it was necessary for him to be raised with humanity in mind. Besides, you had already fulfilled your time and our souls were already linked. It would violate the rules for us to be together on Earth.”_

_“Of course dear,” said Yuzuru’s father._

_“Oblivion, pain, loss, death, joy, compassion, love, all the human emotions are necessary to truly understand how one’s power works. Imagine my surprise when Yuzuru brought back Shoma in his phoenix form. The poor baby’s parent had both been to Earth so they hoped in his bird form he’d be able to survive.”_

_“Yuzuru and Shoma have a tremendous amount of power.”_

_“That’s why—”_

_“I heard you are worried our children will not be able to spend at least one mortal lifetime together,” said Shoma’s mother, hand in hand with Shoma’s father._

_“Yes,” said Yuzuru’s mother, she shared a look with Shoma’s mother, sharing thoughts with her in an instant._

_“My partner and I discussed it with those in charge of reincarnation. They will be reborn one more time. Shoma and Yuzuru had sacrificed their lives for the good of the people, it made some of the higher Gods soft.”_

_“Not that they aren’t already soft for the two of them. It is not often we have elementals in mortal lives together and in love," said Shoma’s father._

_“And it seemed as if their love had propelled them into one more cycle of reincarnation. However, there are some conditions.”_

_“What is the catch?”_

_“We are not allowed to affect the circumstances of their rebirth as we did before. We cannot affect when they will be reborn and the way they meet,” said Shoma’s mother._

_“This could mean they will meet when one is a child and the other is well into adulthood. It could also mean they will not fall in love with each other again. This time, everything is solely up to them. They also are no longer bonded together, the effects of their acknowledgment are void,” explained Shoma’s father._

_“Their shared love ensured they will be reborn together but they need to acknowledge each other once more to pass on together. They need to fall in love once more.”_

_“I believe in them.”_

_“So do I.”_

_“Let us do what we can here.”_

_“We will do our job to answer prayers while we wait.”_

_“We will see our children soon, one more life is nothing.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have discovered those who are speaking italics ;)
> 
> How'd this chapter make you feel? Better than the other one?


	9. Act V: Scene I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is. Our present tense Yuzuru Hanyu and Shoma Uno! There will still be a healthy dose of angst, but just in a different way.
> 
> Shoma's glo-up pt. 1:  
> [2012 Shoma](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/04/2012_World_Junior_FS_Shoma_Uno.jpg)  
> [2013 Shoma](http://www1.pictures.zimbio.com/gi/Shoma+Uno+82nd+Japan+Figure+Skating+Championships+otIW2tS1O1nl.jpg)  
> [2014 Shoma](http://web.icenetwork.com/assets/images/1/7/0/109498170/cuts/Uno_SP_3ggq7oj4_qc6ix0mo.jpg)

        “Mom! I met this really cute, small kid today. His name is Shoma Uno,” said Yuzuru as he waited for his mother to make dinner. He was doing his homework at the dining table, swinging his legs, thinking of the competition today. Shoma was quite powerful for his small size.

        “That’s great darling, how old is he?” asked his mother.

        “He’s three years younger,” said Yuzuru.

        “Then you have to watch out for him,” said his mother.

        “Of course!” exclaimed Yuzuru happily.

        “Good, now help me set the table for dinner dear.”

 

_Interest_

 

        “Shoma-kun come hang out with us!” offered Yuzuru to Shoma who had just arrived. Shoma looked at his mother and nodded, he made his way over to Yuzuru, shy. Yuzuru was friendly and nice and Yamada-sensei told him he should try and make friends with the other skaters.

        “Hello Yuzuru-san,” said Shoma, bowing.

        “No need to be so formal Shoma-kun, you don’t need to use keigo,” said Yuzuru. Shoma nodded vigorously and Yuzuru grinned, ruffling Shoma’s hair. Shoma felt oddly pleased that Yuzuru was touching him. “This is Keiji, we’re the same age, but you don’t need to be formal with him either.”

        “Hi Shoma-kun,” said Keiji. Shoma liked Keiji too, there was something familiar about him, almost like Yuzuru. Keiji would take care of him. Shoma bowed back and smiled shyly.

        “Nice to meet you,” said Shoma.

        “I hope we will get along well,” said Keiji.

 

_Friendships_

 

        Shoma: _Guess what Yuzu?_

        Yuzuru: _Did you beat the level?_

        Shoma: _Yeah_

_but..._

_I have a gf_

_hehe_

        Yuzuru: _Wha?_

_Call me_

        Yuzuru felt his phone vibrate and he picked it up immediately. “What do you mean you have a girlfriend you’re like 9 years old?”

        “I’m 17 Yuzuru, I’m allowed to have one,” said Shoma. Yuzuru felt his body go cold, he was angry and jealous. Irrationally so, Shoma was allowed to date whomever he wanted to.

        “But you’re supposed to stay small and mine forever,” said Yuzuru, whining. He was 20 years old and here he was complaining that a 17-year-old boy had a girlfriend. He had an Olympic medal and he was jealous of Shoma Uno dating some girl.

        “I’m still your small Shoma Uno,” said Shoma.

        “No, you’re getting handsome now and I don’t like it,” said Yuzuru. Shoma laughed and Yuzuru pouted at that.

        “My face has really changed this past couple of years,” said Shoma. It truly had, in the span of a year Shoma had grown more mature and looked much older.

        “Stop getting old, it makes me feel old,” said Yuzuru.

        “You still skate perfectly for someone who’s ‘old.’ Now, be happy I have some semblance of a love life,” said Shoma.

        “Hmph, mature Shoma has to grow on me,” said Yuzuru. He deep down inside wanted grown Shoma for himself. His kouhai had grown into a wonderful young man and the thought that some girl was going to take him away made Yuzuru angry.

 

_Frustration_

 

        “Yuzuru-kun,” exclaimed Shoma as he skated over to greet Yuzuru but stopped short when he saw Yuzuru animatedly talking to Javier. He skated away, disappointment in his stomach. He could feel himself getting hot, he really needed to work on his stamina if he was getting hot from skating this little. He went over to Keiji instead.

        “Shoma-kun?” asked Keiji, confused as to why Shoma was back by his side. They were just skating together a minute ago and Shoma had skated off and now he was back.

        “I wanted to hang out with you a little longer? Am I not allowed to be here?” said Shoma. Keiji rolled his eyes, knowing that wasn’t the reason why. Shoma suddenly gripped his arm and Keiji looked over, confused. Shoma was beginning to turn pale and Keiji was worried.

        “Shoma? Are you okay?” asked Keiji.

        “Yes, I’m fine. Just a little off balance for a moment,” responded Shoma, skating away from him to jump. Maybe he just needed to practice a little more. He had pushed through things like this before. He prepared to jump and just as he launched he swore to himself, underrotated. He already knew he would hit the ice, it was just a matter of falling as safely as possible. Suddenly his vision began to swim and the ice came a lot faster than he was used to. He managed to land as softly as possible but he felt so hot. It felt like his body was on fire, the ice was doing nothing for him. Shoma heard his name being called but all he could focus on was trying to cool his body down. His vision was fading, he was beginning to see hints of red tinting his vision. Even the ice began to felt hot.

        “Shoma! Shoma, can you get up?” asked Keiji. Shoma felt a hand help him up and he leaned heavily on Keiji. “Shoma, are you okay?”

        “M’fine,” mumbled Shoma. Keiji felt Shoma’s head and flinched at how hot it was.

        “You have a fever,” said Keiji.

        “Is he all right?” asked Javier skating up to them, Yuzuru was hot on his heels.

        “M’okay,” said Shoma, his cheeks were red too.

        “Shoma! Are you okay? What happened to you? Do you need something? Are you feeling dizzy?” asked Yuzuru in rapid-fire Japanese.

        “Okay,” was all Shoma said before collapsing on Keiji. Keiji managed to steady himself and Shoma, preventing both of them from falling. Yuzuru’s eyes widened and he felt his heart pound even faster. He could feel himself getting faint, not Shoma, not his Shoma. Yuzuru’s breath began to quicken, similar to how it would when he would get an asthma attack.

        “Wow—Yuzu take a deep breath—he’ll be okay,” said Javier, with a hand on his shoulder. Yuzuru could only focus on Shoma, worry coursing through his veins.

        “Let’s get him to a medic,” said Keiji, he managed to lift Shoma up and carry him off the ice. The other skaters looked on in worry, it was luckily a closed practice.

        “Medic, medic please,” urged Yuzuru. A medic rushed over from the other side of the rink and ushered the group over to a bench where they could lie him down.

        “What happened?” asked the medic.

        “He did a jump and suddenly fell. He was able to get up with some assistance but then he passed out,” said Keiji.

        “He’s burning up, someone go get me ice,” said the medic as he felt Shoma’s temperature. Javier nodded and left to find ice. “Someone notify his coaches,” the medic said.

        “I’ll find Mihoko-sensei, I think she left to grab lunch for them,” said Keiji.

        “When was the last time he ate?” asked the medic.

        “He had breakfast this morning,” said Yuzuru, he looked at Shoma worried. Shoma began to stir, his eyelids scrunching, trying to open.

        “Can you hold his hand? It will be comforting to have someone he knows nearby,” said the medic. Yuzuru grabbed Shoma’s hand and felt the heat radiating through it. The heat seemed to lessen gradually at Yuzuru’s contact. Shoma’s eyes open slowly and he makes eye contact with Yuzuru. Shoma smiled tiredly and Yuzuru felt at peace again. He would be okay.

        “Shoma!” said Mihoko rushing over with Keiji. Javier was right behind them with ice and water.

        “M’okay,” coughed out Shoma. Mihoko kneeled by his side and Yuzuru tried to release Shoma’s hand to let her get closer but Shoma tugged on his hand. “No,” was all Shoma said to Yuzuru. Yuzuru just let Shoma hold his hand, not minding the contact and it appeared to help him.

        “Are you sick?” asked Mihoko, worried.

        “No, I don’t think so,” said Shoma. “I haven’t felt any symptoms or anything. I just got hot really quickly for some reason.” The medic placed the ice on his head and his temperature continued to decrease, slowly returning to normal.

        “He’s still warm but not nearly as hot as before,” said the medic. “Have him drink some water. I think his body is just exhausted.” Yuzuru helped Shoma to sit up and offered him the cup of water. Shoma drank it quickly and the red in his cheeks began to fade.

        “Does he need to go to Urgent Care?” asked Mihoko.

        “No, he should be fine. Just keep an eye on him, make sure he hydrates and rests. He must be overexerted from the past couple of days. If he develops a fever or gets hot like that again bring him to Urgent Care,” the medic said.

        “Can you walk?” asked Mihoko. Shoma nodded. “Let’s get your things and bring you back to your room to rest. Keiji can you get his stuff for me, please? Yuzuru will you please help me bring him up to his room?” requested Mihoko in Japanese. “Javier will you please tell Brian we borrowed Yuzuru, he will be down quickly after we get him to his room.” Shoma shook his head at that.

        “No, I want him to stay,” said Shoma, unusually stubborn. Yuzuru felt his heart pang sympathetically. He wanted to be close to Shoma too. He was worried about him.

        “Shoma we can’t prevent Yuzuru from practicing,” said Mihoko. It was odd to her that Shoma was being clingy like this, she would have to keep an eye on him. There was something else going on.

        “It should be okay,” said Javier, understanding what they were discussing from the gesturing and subtext, “he already practiced his gala number and Brian won’t mind.”

        “Thank you Javi,” said Yuzuru. Shoma managed to remove his skates and sit up slowly. He stood up slowly and sat down again, dizzy.

        “I’m going to sit here for a moment,” said Shoma. As soon as Yuzuru let go of him he felt dizzy again.

        “Take your time,” said Mihoko. Shoma sat for a couple of minutes before trying to stand again, he grabbed Yuzuru’s hand tightly and managed to stand. Mihoko and Yuzuru managed to get Shoma to his room where Keiji is waiting.

        “Can you stay Yuzu-kun?” asked Shoma, his voice small. Mihoko looked at her skater, worried. This had never happened to him before.

        “Do you need all of us here or will Yuzuru be enough to help if you need?” asked Mihoko.

        “Yuzu-kun will be fine,” said Shoma with a reassuring smile. Mihoko did a one over of Shoma, he should be okay. She trusted Yuzuru enough to take care of Shoma if anything else went wrong.

        “Call me if anything happens,” she told Yuzuru. He nodded in understanding.

        “Here, you can stay in my room Keiji,” said Yuzuru as he tossed Keiji his key. “It doesn’t look like he wants me to leave for a while,” said Yuzuru as he looked down at their still linked hands. Shoma had to be convinced to let Yuzuru release his hand so he could help him to his room. He insisted that Yuzuru held his hand as soon as they got to his room. Keiji nodded and Mihoko shut the door as both of them left.

        “Do you want to lay down?” asked Yuzuru.

        “Mhm, can you lie next to me though?” requested Shoma. “Holding your hand helps my body to stay cool for some reason. Every time you let go I get hot and dizzy again.”

        “Sure,” said Yuzuru, he liked being close to Shoma. “But I need to take my skates off first.” Shoma nodded and made his way to the bed, practically collapsing on it. Yuzuru quickly removed his skates and lay down next to Shoma. Shoma was already beginning to heat up. Yuzuru grabbed Shoma’s hand and watched fascinated as Shoma’s body heat returned to normal.

        “I don’t know why our linked hands cool me down,” said Shoma.

        “I’m not sure either, but since we’re here why don’t we just rest,” said Yuzuru. Shoma nodded, his eyes already fluttering shut, Yuzuru bit back a laugh at how easy Shoma fell asleep.

        “Thank you for staying with me Yuzu-kun,” said Shoma.

        “Anytime,” said Yuzuru. They fell asleep with their hands linked.

  
        _Closeness_

 

        Yuzuru Hanyu was staring at him, intently and he didn’t quite know why. He turned around to make eye contact but Yuzuru was fooling around with Javie—Shoma thought he was hallucinating, maybe Yuzuru wasn’t watching him. Just as he returned to making his way around the rink he felt Yuzuru’s eyes on him again. He skated backward to check subtly and Yuzuru was indeed staring at him. Shoma felt his body go hot, a pleasant warmth.

        He returns to his warm up around the rink and stops by Mihoko. “What should I work on today?”

        “Yuzuru seems to watch you more,” said Mihoko. She chuckled to herself as Shoma turned slightly red.

        “You noticed too?” asked Shoma.

        “How could I not? You’re my skater and my eyes follow you and someone else’s eyes seem to follow you too.”

        “I’m not sure why,” said Shoma.

        “You two didn’t sleep together after you passed out a year ago? I always assumed you two slept together after we left. I mean we didn’t see you go out for lunch and only Yuzuru went to get dinner for the both of you,” said Mihoko.

        “No! We just took a nap together,” said Shoma, cheeks red. Mihoko laughed and patted his hand.

        “I’ll bother you more about this later, go through your program,” said Mihoko. Shoma nodded and moved to go through his program. Thankfully, Yuzuru’s staring had ceased as the man ran through his own program. Shoma let Yuzuru fade from his mind and ran through his program. He felt good today, he had practiced so hard for the past couple of months to clean up his jumps. He launched into his quad flip and managed to stick it. He goes through the rest of his program, motivated from landing his initial jump. He finished with a smile and made his way back over to Mihoko.

        “If I had known teasing you about Yuzuru would make you skate this well, I should do it more,” said Mihoko. Shoma laughed and Mihoko began to list the things he needed to improve. “Oh, I see the one who’s been staring at you coming our way,” said Mihoko. Before Shoma can turn around to see there is a cold hand ruffling his hair and the familiar, loud laugh.

        “Will you hang out with me after practice?” asked Yuzuru. Shoma turned around to meet Yuzuru’s face and nodded his head. “We can play the new game I have,” said Yuzuru with a grin. Shoma’s face lit up and Yuzuru laughed once more, he ruffled Shoma’s hair again and skated back to Brian.

        “That was the cutest one-sided conversation I’ve ever seen,” said Mihoko. “Now that you have date plans, I want you to practice some of the easier jumps. Take it easy on your body and focus more on your form.”

        That wasn’t a date Shoma thought to himself or was it? Yuzuru had been hanging out with him more since the incident. He didn’t mind it at all, they had shared something that night. He wasn’t quite sure what it was, but something had changed between the two of them. There was an implicit trust that had awoken. Shoma nodded at Mihoko’s directions and skated away. He was so focused on reworking his jumps he didn’t notice his coach move over to talk to Javier.

        “Can I borrow him really quick?” asked Mihoko, gesturing to Javier. Brian nodded his head, he was focused on Yuzuru right now. Mihoko led Javier a little ways away, she made sure Shoma was still focused on his jumps and Yuzuru was still working with Brian.

        “Has Yuzuru talked about Shoma to you at all?” asked Mihoko.

        “Yes, after the incident with him passing out, they seem much more closer,” said Javier.

        “That’s what I figured,” said Mihoko, “did Yuzuru tell you what happened in that room the time they were together?”

        “No, I assumed they slept together but Yuzuru insisted they didn’t,” said Javier.

        “Shoma told me the same thing. Does he ever tell you how Shoma is doing?”

        “Not much more than gushing about him, but never his health,” said Javier.

        “I don’t think anything like what happened last year has happened. But I cannot always be with him so I have no way of knowing how he’s doing.”

        “If something were to go wrong I think he would tell you first,” said Javier.

        “That’s what I’d hope, but I think they discovered something that night,” said Mihoko.

        “Like feelings?”

        “That, but I feel like there is something more,” said Mihoko. “Has he been like that,” said Mihoko, gesturing to Yuzuru who was watching Shoma from the corner of his eye, “ever since?”

        “He was always more subtle about it. He was always touchy feely so it was difficult to tell whether he likes someone or not. But something seemed different after he came back, he is more worried for him. He also talks about him, a lot, a little too much. I asked him if he liked Shoma and he insisted he didn’t. I think we both can agree his actions say otherwise,” said Javier.

        “Okay, I too have my suspicions there is something going on between the two of them or will be going on,” said Mihoko. “Not that I mind, as long as it doesn’t interfere with either of their skating. But update me, I’m also worried about Shoma. Something similar hasn’t happened ever since that day, but still. I think those two are linked in some way,” Javier nodded in understanding and made his way back to Brian. Mihoko returned to watching Shoma, worried for him and Yuzuru.

 

_Worry_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooooh what's happening to Shoma?!
> 
> How'd you like this one?


	10. Act V: Scene II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the update. A little recommendation if you forgot what happened: re-read Act II (Chapter 3) it'll refresh the flash-forward timeline and frame this chapter much better.
> 
> I'm so sorry that it took so long to update. I've been trying to take care of myself a little better. So, during the break, in addition to trying to catch up on work, I spent some time at the beach and soaked up some sun. Once break ended all my classes started back up and I had a lot more work than I thought initially. 
> 
> I really wanted to post something after Worlds but I couldn't finish this update in time. Shoma did so well even if he was injured, it might not have been his best program but he truly showcased what it means to persevere. I have so much admiration for both him and Yuzuru.

        “You ready to play?” asked Yuzuru, his hair was wet from his shower. Both of them had washed up before they met up. They had decided if they played games too late Shoma could just sleep over. After all, Yuzuru had a room to himself with two beds.

        “Yup,” said Shoma as he set up the Switch. They sat on the two beds they had shoved together to give them more space.

        “I’ll warn you, I played this game and it's harder than I thought,” said Yuzuru.

        “I’m a professional, I’ll beat it in no time,” said Shoma, confident. Yuzuru giggled and shoved Shoma.

        “If you lose do I get something from you?” asked Yuzuru.

        “A bet?” asked Shoma.

        “Yes, a bet Shoma,” said Yuzuru.

        “Hmm, what about one favor for the winner?”

        “I like that, maybe my favor will be for you to join Javi and I in Canada,” said Yuzuru.

        “I’d like that,” said Shoma softly, Yuzuru felt his heart rate pick up, he hadn’t expected Shoma to be serious, “but I like Mihoko-sensei, Yamada-sensei, and being with my family too much. Besides, I don’t want to deal with you every day.”

        Yuzuru shoves Shoma over and Shoma falls to the side of the bed, laughing. “That’s not nice, I’m a joy to be around.”

        “A real joy,” said Shoma sarcastically. Yuzuru poked Shoma in the side causing him to curl up dramatically in pain. “I’ve been hurt, I’ve been hurt!”

        “Don’t be dramatic, that’s my job,” said Yuzuru. Shoma laughed and sat up, getting ready to play the game. His world seemed to slow down for a moment, he looked over at Yuzuru, his face looked magnificent and beautiful, ethereal even. Then the horrible feeling of Yuzuru’s body disintegrating in his embrace overwhelmed his senses. His breath suddenly sped up and he is forced back into reality. “Shoma-kun?” asked Yuzuru, concerned, Shoma had zoned out and then suddenly grew pale.

        “Sorry, I zoned out for a moment,” said Shoma.

        “You’re crying,” said Yuzuru, touching the tears on Shoma’s face.

        “I am?” asked Shoma, raising his hand to his face, feeling the dampness on his cheeks.

 

_Tears_

 

        “Goodnight loser,” said Yuzuru teasingly to Shoma, Yuzuru had actually managed to win the game. It might have been because he had pulled a secret combination he had up his sleeve but Yuzuru wasn’t about to take back his win.

        “Goodnight cheater,” said Shoma, as he turned over to face Yuzuru. They had decided to keep the beds together, both too lazy to change them back to the way they were.

        “I never cheat what are you talking about,” said Yuzuru. Shoma rolled his eyes at that and smacked Yuzuru. Yuzuru just laughed and poked Shoma’s side causing Shoma to roll up into a ball.

        “Yuzuuuu,” whined Shoma and Yuzuru continued to poke Shoma’s side.

        “Don’t cry on me again,” said Yuzuru jokingly. Shoma’s bottom lip began to wobble and actual tears began to pool in his eyes. Yuzuru felt his heart drop, he hadn’t actually made Shoma cry. Right? “Shoma?”

        “Yuzu-kun y-you m-made me,” Shoma paused for effect and broke out into laughter. Shoma cackled evilly, wiping the tears out of his eyes, “You fell for it, you should’ve seen the look on your face.”

        “Rude, I was actually worried,” said Yuzuru. Shoma grinned and poked Yuzuru’s cheek.

        “Revenge you cheater,” said Shoma.

        “A deal is a deal,” said Yuzuru mischievously, “I’ll get you back for this.” Shoma huffed and closed his eyes, pretending to be asleep. “Goodnight Shoma.”

        "Night Yuzu-kun,” mumbled Shoma already actually falling asleep.

 

_Laughter_

 

        Fire surrounding him

                in a sweet

                        embrace.        

        A comforting heat.

                Flame burning his earthly body, his soul long gone.

        The flame a distant cold.

                A brave, vibrant flame.

        A noble sacrifice.

               It was hot

                much too

        hot

                He needed something cool.        Always

        always hot.

                Different heat,

        searing,

                tearing flame.

        The heat was

                killing him,

                       quickly and rapidly.

        Ash,

                back to

        ash.

        The form he first took.

        He would be reborn.

        Cold. Ice.

                Cold

                        Burning       

                               Comfort       

        “Shoma,” Yuzuru shook Shoma worried. He had woken up to Shoma thrashing beside him. The younger male was covered in sweat his body abnormally hot. His body heat was skyrocketing, similar to the time he had passed out on ice. Shoma’s eyes opened suddenly. He looked at Yuzuru, blank, not recognizing him. “Shoma. Shoma. Shoma Uno do you recognize me?”

        Recognition crossed Shoma’s eyes and Yuzuru felt a sense of relief, “Yuzuru?”

        “Yes, it’s me Shoma,” said Yuzuru. He looked at Shoma, worried.

        “You’re alive.”

        “Of course silly, why wouldn’t I?”

        “You always want to leave me,” said Shoma, accusing and hurt.

        “What are you talking about? I had to leave for Canada to skate Shoma.”

        “No, you always choose—” Shoma cut off and there was a genuine hurt in his eyes.

        “Shoma, what’s wrong?” asked Yuzuru.

        “It’s so stupid,” said Shoma.

        “Tell me,” said Yuzuru.

        “You always leave me in my dreams,” said Shoma, “you always die, the same four ways.”

        “What do you mean?”

        “You leave me—we never—it just seems as if everything is trying to keep us apart. Maybe it was a sign. Maybe my dreams are telling me not to—“ Shoma stops himself before he can admit his feelings. So he did love him. That’s what he felt, jealousy, anger, frustration, love. Shoma pulled the covers off and stood up suddenly. Yuzuru sat up and looked at him confused.

        “Shoma? What’s going on?”

        “I’m sorry Yuzuru, I’m sorry for everything. Thank you for tonight,” said Shoma, bowing. He grabbed his things and walked towards the door.

        “What are you doing it’s three in the morning? Just wait until later, we can talk about this.”

        “I need to think, I’m sorry,” said Shoma. He opened the door and left. Yuzuru buried his head in his hands.

 

_Overwhelming_

 

        “Shoma, as much as I love you, I didn’t exactly mean to show up at three in the morning when I said my door is always open. You should be asleep,” scolded Mihoko as she ushered Shoma into her room.

        “Mihoko-sensei,” Shoma said, voice small and wobbly. Shoma looked more like the little boy who had cried after falling on ice numerous times than he had in the past couple of years.

        “Sit down on the empty bed,” said Mihoko sitting on the untouched bed, patting the spot next to her. Shoma plopped down and looked at Mihoko for help. “Come here,” said Mihoko, offering a hug to Shoma. Shoma hugged her and began to cry. All of his pent-up emotions pouring out at once. “There there Shoma, let it out.” He sniffled and cried into Mihoko’s shoulder, allowing himself to let go.

        “Mihoko-sensei, I have really vivid dreams sometimes,” started Shoma after his tears had dried up.

        “What do you mean Shoma?”

        ”I have this recurring dream of Yuzuru dying in these four different ways. It’s so vivid and painful. It’s almost like I’m reliving something. I don’t know. I’ve had these hazy dreams of fire when I was younger, it was so pleasant until it wasn’t. When Yuzuru moved away my dreams turned darker, different.”

        “Do you think your dreams are connected to him?”

        “For some reason, I think they are. But that sounds crazy.”

        “I wouldn’t believe you if you hadn’t acted the way you did when you passed out.”

        “I needed him to stay with me for some reason, he just seemed to quench the fire,” said Shoma. Mihoko smiled softly, he was coming to a conclusion. Mihoko believed in reincarnation as much as the next person but something about Yuzuru and Shoma made her believe a little bit more.

        “Why did you leave him then?” asked Mihoko.

        “I realized something,” said Shoma.

        “What did your realize Shoma?”

        “I’m in love with Yuzuru Hanyu,” said Shoma.

        “Oh,” Mihoko exclaimed softly, her suspicions confirmed.

        “Is there something wrong? I know it’s weird I like men and—” Shoma was cut off by another hug.

        “No Shoma, nothing is wrong. I’m just happy for you,” said Mihoko. “I was worried about you, something has been happening and I didn’t quite know what it was. But I think this cleared it up for me.”

        “Has it?”

        “Yes, Shoma. Would you like to tell me what is so distressing about this realization?”

        “The dreams, I just feel like they’re trying to warn me about something.”

        “What do you think they’re trying to tell you?”

        “I think they’re telling me to stay away from him?”

        “If you love him why would you be warned to stay away from him?”

        “Because I get so,” Shoma paused, “possessive and irrational around him. I shouldn’t taint someone like Yuzuru-kun with feelings like that.”

        “It’s natural to feel jealous when you like someone Shoma,” said Mihoko, “maybe you’re coming to the wrong conclusion.”

        “Do you really think so?”

        “Yes Shoma, I think you feel worried because your dreams always consist of Yuzuru leaving you. It leads to you wanting him to stay near you so you don’t lose him like you do in your dreams.”

        “Oh,” Shoma nodded his head, his jumbled thoughts slowly being put into perspective.

        “I think you should go back to your room and think it through a little more. Get some rest and then come to practice with a fresh mind. There is no use of trying to fix this now,” said Mihoko.

        “What should I do about everything?” asked Shoma.

        “You’ll have to figure that out on your own Shoma, a good place to start would be to talk to him.”

 

_Realization_

 

        “What happened to you? You look awful,” commented Javier as Yuzuru came down for breakfast. Yuzuru had deep dark circles and looked exhausted.

        “Nothing,” said Yuzuru quietly. Javier looked at him worried, Yuzuru was withdrawn and sullen. His usually bright demeanor was gone.

        “Are you sure?” asked Javier. “Did something happen with you and Shoma?”

        “No,” was all Yuzuru said but Javier could sense he had hit the nail on the head.

        “Did you two fight?” asked Javier.

        “No, he just—” Yuzuru paused and got up suddenly. “I’ll see you at practice, I’m going to eat in my room.”

        “Wait, Yuzuru—” Javier stopped as he saw Shoma come into the dining hall, equally as exhausted. He looked at Yuzuru who had frozen in his spot and Shoma who was walking towards their table with determination. He thought they would avoid each other if they had fought. Shoma also did not seem like the confrontational type.

        “Good morning Javier,” said Shoma with a tired smile, “morning Yuzuru. If you’re free I would like to talk.”

        “Shoma-kun?” was all Yuzuru could say, flustered. He had been unable to go back to bed after Shoma had left, confused and hurt.

        “I want to clarify what happened this morning,” said Shoma, oddly confident. Yuzuru glanced down and caught the slight shake in Shoma’s hand, the only thing that indicated his nervousness.

        “Yeah, uh—sure,” said Yuzuru. He wanted to know what was happening before he jumped to a conclusion.

        “Let’s talk somewhere more,” Shoma looked around, “private.” Yuzuru nodded and followed Shoma to an isolated part of the hotel, a seldom used conference room.

        “So, what happened last night?” asked Yuzuru.

        “I wanted to apologize first,” said Shoma, bowing his head.

        “It’s okay, the dream you had seemed to really have spooked you,” said Yuzuru.

        “I want to explain,” said Shoma. Yuzuru nodded his head for Shoma to go ahead, “I have these recurring dreams of you dying,” Shoma paused and looked at Yuzuru to gauge his reaction. Yuzuru’s eyebrows were heightened and he looked surprised.

        “Is this a weird rivalry thing where you tell me, 'I wish you would die so I can win?'"

        “No, no,” Shoma shook his head vigorously, horrified Yuzuru thought that “it’s the same dream of you dying in four different ways. You die in the same way—the four times are all distinctly different but they are also all the same. It’s like a memory or something. It seems so  _real_.” Yuzuru felt his heartbeat speed up at its own volition. As if Shoma's statement had triggered something. “I thought that they were a warning, but…” Shoma trailed off, unsure of himself.

        “But?”

        “I want to tell you something else,” said Shoma. His hands were shaking even more now and Shoma’s cheeks were turning red.

        “Yes?” asked Yuzuru, he reached for Shoma’s hands, grabbing them to stabilize them, “I will listen.”

        “I like you Yuzuru-kun,” said Shoma softly. Yuzuru felt himself go warm and his cheeks turn red.

        “Oh,” was all Yuzuru could say.

        “It’s okay if you don’t feel the same, I just,” Shoma paused trying to formulate his thoughts, “I think that a part of me is afraid to lose you for some reason.” Yuzuru threw his arms around Shoma and kissed him full on. Shoma’s eyes widened in surprise before he returned the kiss.

        “It makes sense now,” said Yuzuru.

        “What makes sense?”

        “You, everything,” said Yuzuru.

        “What do you mean?”

        “Us, your dreams, your skyrocketing body heat and how I cool it down. I have dreams too, I thought I was crazy. I’m always so cold and hurting. I always want to reach you and never can. You have this comforting heat I'm always trying to reach,” said Yuzuru.

        “Oh, why didn’t you tell me?”

        “The same reason you didn’t tell me; I thought I was crazy. Why would I dream about you all the time?” said Yuzuru, “I was frightened when you started to convulse in your dreams. Then when you woke up and couldn’t recognize me and then you told me I always left you and I thought you were talking about Canada. And then you said you saw me dying I was so confused but also kind of hopeful. I thought that maybe, just maybe you could explain what was happening. But then you just left and I didn’t know what to think or what to do.”

        “I’m sorry about that,” apologized Shoma once more.

        “No, don’t apologize. Those dreams are very terrifying. I wake up in the same way sometimes,” admitted Yuzuru. “We,” said Yuzuru pointing at the two of them, “are meant to be together.” Shoma turned red at those words.

        “Are you asking me out?”

        “Yes. I like you too Shoma Uno, will you go out with me?”

_Confession_

 

        “Yuzuuuuuu,” complained Shoma as Yuzuru smeared cream all over Shoma’ face.

        “Happy birthday to my lovely Shoma Uno,” said Yuzuru. A look of immense love crosses his eyes and he plants a kiss on Shoma. Shoma turns red and returns the kiss.

        “What was that for?”

        “I can’t kiss my boyfriend when I want?” asked Yuzuru.

        “You can kiss me all you want,” said Shoma and Yuzuru grinned peppering Shoma with small kisses spreading the cream even more.

 

_Joy_

 

        “Date night with Sho-kun!” exclaimed Yuzuru happily. They had agreed to watch Your Name for the umpteenth time. Shoma had been embarrassed the first the first time he had suggested watching it. But Yuzuru had agreed happily and it quickly became a movie in the circulation of their favorite movies to watch during their stay in dates.

        Shoma kissed Yuzuru, “Mhm, I missed you.”

        “I missed you too,” said Yuzuru. They had been apart as a result of training. The couple had managed to deal with the distance, but sometimes they found each other craving touch and affection the other couldn’t always give. But the distance made reuniting that much sweeter.

        “I’m glad we can spend time together like this,” said Shoma. He felt so full with Yuzuru. A feeling of happiness and satisfaction he had never felt before.

        “So am I Sho-kun, so am I,” said Yuzuru, kissing Shoma once more.

 

_Happiness_

 

        “Cuddles, I want cuddles,” said Yuzuru after he had finished his shower. He collapsed on their shared bed dramatically, crushing Shoma who had showered earlier and fell asleep waiting for Yuzuru to finish.

        Shoma let out a strangled sound before repositioning himself to not be suffocated, “Don’t kill me.” Yuzuru laughed at that and wrapped his long arms around Shoma, comfortably positioning the smaller male in his arms. Shoma relaxed and Yuzuru nuzzled Shoma’s head, content. Yuzuru felt a pleasant warmth spread through his body, “My Shoma quota has been fulfilled.”

        Shoma laughed at that, “You’re ridiculous.”

        “That’s why you love me,” said Yuzuru.

        “You aren’t wrong,” said Shoma.

 

_Content_

 

        Yuzuru fell. Again, he was hurting so badly. Shoma felt his world crumble just a little. Not his strong Yuzuru.

        Yuzuru cried that night, frustrated. Shoma held him, trying to hold Yuzuru and himself together. Shoma felt the fear of not being enough rise.

        Yuzuru succeeded beautifully in his free program. Shoma felt his world reconstruct itself just a little.

        Yuzuru was strong he didn’t need Shoma to bounce back.

 

_Worry_

 

        Another fall, another injury, another teary phone call. Shoma felt absolutely helpless. Yuzuru reached out to him more and more and Shoma tried as best he could—but he couldn’t help but feel like he was doing absolutely nothing to help his boyfriend.

        It was a horrible feeling.

 

_Distress_

 

        Yuzuru was struggling and he had managed to come back. He always did, but something was unsettling for Shoma. The thought of what if he was the one holding Yuzuru back. Was he the unnecessary emotional attachment? Did he distract Yuzuru?

        Would Yuzuru be able to get back up faster if he wasn’t being held back by Shoma?

 

_Fear_

 

        They had fought and Shoma was forced to confront his fear. The fear of Yuzuru leaving him, of being a distraction to Yuzuru's career, of his own inadequacy affecting their relationship. Yuzuru's anger had snapped him back into reality

        Yuzuru held him tightly, hugging Shoma as the younger male cried and cried. At that moment, Shoma realized that he wasn’t the only one who was afraid of losing someone. They were equally afraid. They were deathly afraid of losing each other. Yuzuru was just as scared as he was. Shoma had been selfish in trying to protect Yuzuru. He hadn't even considered checking in on what Yuzuru thought. He was so focused on what he thought was best for Yuzuru he forgot to ask the very person involved. “Stop thinking like that,” said Yuzuru, as if reading Shoma’s thoughts.

        “I’ve been so stupid.”

        “You have, but I still love you. I should've recognized what was happening. We both are at fault here. This is a relationship, it requires both parties to communicate for it to work out.”

        “Thank you for being so understanding,” said Shoma, hugging Yuzuru tighter. He was trying to convey his gratefulness through touch, words unable to describe how he felt, “Thank you.” He had almost thrown away his world.

        “Do me a favor Shoma,” said Yuzuru.

        “Anything,” said Shoma.

        “Remember how I won the game? I never cashed out on my favor,” said Yuzuru, “don’t do this to me again. Just talk to me if you ever feel this way. Please, I don’t think my heart can stand it. This is our chance Shoma, I feel it in my bones. We are meant to be. Just like I told you when we first started dating.”

        “Of course. I believe in us Yuzu. I’ve learned my lesson. I need to trust us more,” said Shoma.

 

_Trust_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! Thank you so much for being patient. Everyone's comments help to motivate me to write.
> 
> In random other news, I have a nice new candle that helps me to focus and relax.


	11. Act V: Scene III

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made this chapter a little longer to thank everyone for being so patient. I'm sorry for taking so long to update, life gets in the way sometimes. 
> 
> The loose ends are being wrapped up. Writing these last couple of chapters is bittersweet for me. 
> 
> As always, willing suspension of disbelief ;)

     Shoma lay in Yuzuru’s arms, cuddling after a long day of practice. Yuzuru tangled his fingers in Shoma’s curly hair enjoying the content look on Shoma’s face. “Sho-kun kiss me,” said Yuzuru. Shoma complied, craning his neck up and placing a soft kiss on Yuzuru’s lips sending tingles down both of their spines. After their argument, they had spent more time talking and understanding each other, both willing to make it work.

     “I’ve only had good dreams recently,” said Shoma.

     Yuzuru smiles at that, “So have I. You complete my world.” Shoma blushes at that and tilts his head up to give Yuzuru another kiss.

     “I dream a lot of the open sky, of being able to fly,” said Shoma. Yuzuru smiles at that and presses his lips to Shoma’s forehead.

     “Am I there with you?” asked Yuzuru.

     “Mhm, but you’re in the form of a swan, there’s a little baby crane too for some reason,” said Shoma.

     “Ah, then you must be the beautiful firebird I see flying around me,” said Yuzuru.

     Shoma giggles, “We have the same dreams?”

     “I think we do,” said Yuzuru, “I see the baby crane too she’s quite cute.”

     “Very,” said Shoma happily. “You like to show off in the sky too,” said Shoma, “twirling and diving all over the place.”

     “What can I say, if I can’t skate I can at least fly around beautifully in the sky,” said Yuzuru.

     Shoma nuzzles deeper into Yuzuru’s embrace, “You’ll be ethereal no matter what.”

 

_Affection_

 

     “Shoma, when we get home let's go to Kyoto,” said Yuzuru as they warmed down together.

     “Kyoto?” asked Shoma, confused.

     “Yes, I think we’ll find some answers there,” said Yuzuru wrapping his hands around his toes.

     “Answers?” asked Shoma.

     “To why everything we do seems to be so interconnected,” said Yuzuru.

     “Are you sure? Don’t you want to go home to Sendai first? Kyoto is far away,” said Shoma as he stretched his lower back.

     “I’ll go home after, but I have this gut feeling we need to visit Kyoto together,” said Yuzuru.

     “If you want to go, I guess?” said Shoma. “Do you want to stay with my family before we go to Kyoto?”

     “Sure! I can formally introduce myself to your parents,” said Yuzuru.

     “You’re ridiculous, they already know you,” said Shoma.

     “I need to make a good impression as their future son-in-law,” said Yuzuru. Shoma felt his cheeks heat up at that comment.

     “Less flirting more stretching,” scolded Mihoko playfully as she came to check on Shoma. She places a water bottle by his head and Shoma drinks it gratefully.

     “Mihoko-sensei is it okay if I take Shoma with me to Kyoto for a little bit?” asked Yuzuru.

     “Kyoto? Why Kyoto?” asked Mihoko.

     “It’s a surprise,” said Yuzuru with a wink.

     “It isn’t a surprise if you say it like that in front of me,” said Shoma.

     “Don’t be sour Shoma your boyfriend is trying to be romantic,” said Mihoko. “It’s fine, I trust you know how long is too long to be away from training. Is Brian okay with it?”

     “I’m supposed to rest while I’m in Japan so it should be fine,” said Yuzuru.

     “It’s because you’re old now,” said Shoma teasingly. In response to that Shoma gets pushed off of his foam roller. “Yuzu-kun!” exclaimed Shoma, surprised.

     “Are you fooling around instead of stretching?” asked Brian as he entered to check in on Yuzuru.

     “I’m still stretching,” said Yuzuru, obnoxiously throwing his leg over Shoma’s torso earning a disgruntled groan from the shorter skater.

     “Mihoko-sensei save me,” said Shoma.

     Mihoko just laughs, “You aren’t helpless Shoma,” said Mihoko. Shoma looks offended Mihoko isn’t taking his side.

     “Don’t harm Shoma even though all we have left is the gala,” said Brian. “Even if you’re Japan’s sweetheart they’ll get mad at you for hurting their baby,” said Brian. Yuzuru laughs at that and nods his head. “Besides I don’t get paid enough to take care of a broken heart.” Yuzuru laughed loudly and ruffled a confused Shoma’s hair.

     “What did he say?” asked Shoma, confused, only understanding snippets of their conversation.

     “You’re expensive Sho-kun,” said Yuzuru.

     “Expensive?” repeated Shoma tilting his head to the side.

     “You’re like Yuzuru’s treasure,” said Mihoko. Yuzuru giggles at Shoma’s widened eyes and slings an arm around him.

     “You’re expensive, a broken heart isn’t easy to replace,” said Yuzuru. Shoma turns red causing both Brian and Mihoko to laugh.

     “Finish warming down Yuzuru and leave poor Shoma alone,” said Brian.

     “When you’re done warming down Shoma come talk to me,” said Mihoko, “I need to make sure you stay in shape while you spend time with a certain someone.” Shoma nods his head, still flustered.

 

_Teasing_

 

     “Shoma, you can’t continue to do that with your clothes,” said Keiji as Shoma shoved his clothes into one big ball and into his bag. “It’s going to smell absolutely horrid.”

     “Watch me,” said Shoma. He continued to shove his clothes into his bag before he stopped suddenly. He sat down, lightheaded. The familiar overwhelming heat rushed through his body again. Shoma began to pant heavily, sweating. Keiji looked over at Shoma, worried.

     “Shoma are you okay?” asked Keiji.

     “Y-yuzu,” Shoma managed to say before a vision wipes over him.

     He was embracing Yuzuru tightly as their bodies were torn up and suddenly he felt like he was seeing multiple dimensions, multiple possibilities all at once. As if his vision expanded beyond human capacity. He was no longer in his body—his soul was free—an incredible power rushed through him. Flashes and snippets of the devastation below him flooded his vision. The prayers of the people began to flood his senses grabbing desperately at his power; he allows for his power to reach out to each of them in an attempt to save at least some of their lives.

     A single desperate cry reaches him.

     A prayer from someone like him. He moves towards the direction of the prayer with his remaining power.

     Abandoned and scared was a baby crane wrapped in power similar to his. He reached out for it, to use the last of his power to protect the crane. Yuzuru’s familiar power touched the edge of his mind as he arrived at the same location. He too had heard the prayer. Millions of thoughts are shared in an instant. They seem to come to an agreement as a protective flame that Shoma recognizes as his own envelops the crane—Shoma was snapped out of his vision by a cool, grounding sensation.

     “Shoma, Shoma come back to me,” said Yuzuru cool hands gently resting on the sides of his face. The first thing he saw was Yuzuru’s worried face. He tried to tug his lips into a smile to reassure him, but even that felt like too much effort.

     “Shoma what do you need?” asked Mihoko, concerned.

     “I need to talk to Yuzu-kun,” said Shoma, “alone.” Mihoko looked at him, worried but nods her head. She gestured for Keiji to join her.

     “We’ll be outside, let us know when you’re ready for us to come in.”

     “Is it okay to leave him like that after what happened?” asked Keiji, concerned.

     “I don’t want to leave him either, but in this situation, there is nothing I can do,” said Mihoko, resigned. Keiji followed her out, trusting Shoma‘s coach.

     “Tell me Sho, what happened?”

     “A vision Yuzu,” said Shoma, “we need to visit Hiroshima. There is something I’ve left undone there.”

     “In this life?” asked Yuzuru.

     “No, the one before this,” said Shoma.

     “Okay—we’ll find answers,” said Yuzuru, “and hopefully you won’t need to struggle with these hot flashes. We’ll just be able to be together happily in this life.”

     “That’s all I want,” said Shoma.

 

_Vision_

 

     “Hiroshima too?” asked Shoma’s mother through FaceTime. “You aren’t trying to slack on training because you’re dating Japan’s top figure skater right?”

     “No mom, I just want to deal with some of my troubles,” said Shoma.

     “Did you two fight? Is this a couple trip to rebuild your romance? Isn’t it too early for that?” asked Shoma’s mother.

     “No mom we just have to take care of some things,” said Shoma, “remember the story you told me as a child?”

     “The one about the Phoenix and the swan?”

     “Yes, how did you hear about that story?”

     “I’m not sure, I think it was something I just came up with on the spot,” said Shoma’s mother.

     “Yuzu-kun heard a similar story and his mother can’t recall from where either,” said Shoma.

     “Oho destiny calls then,” said Shoma’s mother with a wise twinkle in her eye.

     “Do you know more than you’re telling me?” asked Shoma.

     “Mother’s intuition, nothing more,” said Shoma’s mother, “I’ll prepare some healthily balanced dishes for Yuzuru-kun. I can finally cook something other than meat.”

     “Mom!” exclaimed Shoma offended, “I thought you liked cooking for me.”

     “Of course but I don’t really get to cook a variety of dishes. Maybe Yuzuru-kun will finally convince you to eat your vegetables,” said Shoma’s mother excitedly. Shoma groans at that.

 

_Confirmation_

 

     “Yuzuru-kun it’s such an honor to have you over,” said Shoma’s mother welcoming Yuzuru in. “Itsuki take Yuzuru-kun’s bags for him,” said Shoma’s mother.

     “Oh no, don’t worry I can take care of my bags,” said Yuzuru.

     “Don’t be ridiculous, you’re a guest here. My two sons can do some work around here,” said Shoma’s mother.

     Itsuki comes to take Yuzuru’s bags and smiles at Yuzuru, “I have some dirt on Shoma to show you.”

     “Itsuki shut up,” said Shoma as he took off his shoes and hauled his bags inside.

     “Both of you go take the bags upstairs and Shoma put your dirty clothes in the wash.”

     “Do you need help with anything?” asked Yuzuru.

     “Nothing, I have dinner prepared for both of you, would you like anything to drink while we wait for those two to finish?” asked Shoma’s mother.

     “Water will be fine,” said Yuzuru. Shoma’s mother guides Yuzuru to the living room before getting him something to drink.

     “Thank you for taking care of my son, I am indebted to you,” said Shoma’s mother bowing.

     “No no, thank you for raising such a wonderful son,” said Yuzuru returning the bow.

     “Mihoko-sensei told me you saved him when he passed out on the ice,” said Shoma’s mother.

     “I didn’t save him, I was just there to support him. I’m sure if anyone else was in the situation they would’ve done the same,” said Yuzuru.

     “I’ll be honest with you Yuzuru-kun, Shoma became different after you left for Canada,” said Shoma’s mother taking a deep breath. “It wasn’t anything obvious at first but I could sense there was something wrong. He wasn’t sleeping as well, which is saying something for my son. There were little things that he did that were slightly off and I thought it was because of his training or Shoma just being Shoma. When the incident happened Shoma kept me in the dark, he doesn’t like to communicate if something happened to him. Instead, I had to receive the information my son passed out from Mihoko-sensei. I didn’t know what to do. But she reassured me that you were with him and he was doing okay. I’m just grateful you were there for him. When he told me you two were together something changed. He just seems more complete. If he doesn’t feel like he can tell us something I know he will tell you, so thank you. I’m glad my son has found someone he can rely on.”

     “Are you being sappy about Shoma?” asked Itsuki as he walked downstairs.

     “Be a good son and go set the table,” said Shoma’s mother, “where is your brother?”

     “He’s putting the clothes in the wash like you said,” said Itsuki.

     “See, a good influence,” said Shoma’s mother with a smile.

     “Thank you,” said Yuzuru stunned at her admission.

 

_Past_

 

     “Here are your tickets to Kyoto. These are from Kyoto to Hiroshima. The ones tucked away are the return tickets,” said Shoma’s mother handing it to Yuzuru.

     “Thank you so much for arranging the tickets and your hospitality,” said Yuzuru bowing.

     “Of course, you’re practically my son now,” said Shoma’s mother. “Shoma be good and don’t burden Yuzuru.”

     “Yes mom,” said Shoma.

     “We’ll be back,” said Yuzuru as they made their way to the station.

     “My mother loves you more than she loves me,” said Shoma.

     Yuzuru laughs, “Isn’t that how being Yuzuru Hanyu works?” Yuzuru gets shoved for that before Shoma breaks into laughter.

     “I’ll just have to use the magical Shoma Uno power of making people want to take care of me on your mother,” said Shoma. Yuzuru laughs and throws an arm around Shoma’s shoulders. Both of them tingle at the contact, happy.

 

_Joking_

 

     “You reserved a very traditional hotel,” said Shoma as they brought their stuff to their room.

     “I thought being surrounded by nature would be relaxing,” said Yuzuru. He turns to find Shoma gazing at the scenery, almost as if lost in time. There was a stunning familiarity in the scene. Three different lifetimes, similar yet very distinctly different, juxtaposed on one another flash before him.

     Shoma powerful, hands behind his back overlooking his compound.

     Shoma katana on his side overlooking the landscape with a sad, withdrawn look.

     Shoma with a breathtaking smile looking at him like he was the world.

     Yuzuru feels a pang of love and longing. He made his way to Shoma and wrapped his arms around his waist, grounding himself in the sensation of being with Shoma. Shoma leaned back into Yuzuru, “Familiar?”

     “Mhm,” said Yuzuru.

     “There’s a lot of our history here,” said Shoma.

     “Three lifetimes worth,” said Yuzuru. As soon as those words leave his mouth both of them shudder as tingling sensations shoot through their bodies.

     “Oh,” exclaimed Shoma softly, “I think you were right to bring us here. A haze that always seemed to be there is clearing away.”

     “Me too,” admitted Yuzuru.

     “Ice Prince?” said Shoma with a giggle. Yuzuru tightened his grip around Shoma’s waist at that, a familiar icy feeling shot through him at that name. “So that nickname isn’t unique to this lifetime.”

     “My pretty firebird,” said Yuzuru resting his chin on Shoma’s head, “we’ll be able to make sense of all of these things soon. I know it.”

 

_Memories_

 

     “Sightseeing isn’t that bad,” said Yuzuru as they sat in a restaurant resting their feet. They had walked all over the place in hopes of figuring out some inkling of meaning to their jumbled memories and experiences.

     “The castle felt similar to something” offered Shoma.

     “Not the same but very similar. I think we were samurai in one lifetime?” offered Yuzuru. Yuzuru laughed at the ridiculous notion but Shoma sat oddly still.

     “I think—” Shoma paused to formulate his thought, “I served you Yuzu.”

     “Served me? That’s suggestive,” said Yuzuru.

     “Not like that,” said Shoma laughing, “I was your samurai.” Yuzuru feels a sense of recognition flash through him.

     “Does that mean I just sat still and ordered you around?” asked Yuzuru.

     “Not too different from now,” said Shoma teasingly.

     Yuzuru snorts at that, “I think it’s the other way around.”

     “Maybe,” said Shoma tilting his head guiltily.

     Yuzuru poked him in the forehead, “Stop thinking so hard in the wrong direction.”

     “Sorry, habit,” said Shoma shaking his head to clear away the negative thoughts.

     “This restaurant is familiar too,” said Yuzuru.

     “Are you sure?” asked Shoma. “Are we just going overboard and saying everything is familiar?”

     “If this place isn’t truly familiar—it will be when you pay for me,” said Yuzuru mischievously.

     “Yuzu!” exclaimed Shoma.

     “But I’m serious,” said Yuzuru, his tone shifting away from joking.

     “What about this place is familiar?” asked Shoma. Shoma looked up at Yuzuru to see a few stray tears trickling out of his eyes, “Yuzu? What’s wrong?”

     Yuzuru wiped the tears from his cheeks, “Dredging up all this past life stuff is making me emotional for some reason. Why do we always spontaneously burst into tears when we talk about this?"

     “Because we have a lot of regrets,” said Shoma carefully wiping the tears of off Yuzuru's cheeks.

     “I thought we worked through those,” said Yuzuru taking the tissue from Shoma.

     “Not from this lifetime, from every other one,” said Shoma, sure of himself. Yuzuru looked up at Shoma and felt the truth of his words resonate.

     “I’m glad you were the one I was stuck with for all these lives,” said Yuzuru.

     “So am I, I think if it was anyone else I would go crazy,” said Shoma.

     “I would too,” said Yuzuru, “besides Shoma is Shoma, I can trust you.” Shoma reached out for Yuzuru hand a pleasant warmth raced its way up Yuzuru’s arm causing him to smile. “How do you like spending all this time sightseeing with me?”

     “It’s not bad…but I still like my video games slightly better,” said Shoma, deadpan.

     Yuzuru poked his cheek, “This is valuable date time.”

     “I like hanging out with you the best,” amended Shoma with a wide, genuine smile, earning a grin from Yuzuru.

     “We have one last place to visit and if we don’t figure it all out—well, it was worth the scenery?” said Yuzuru.

     “We unlocked something here, we just don’t know what,” said Shoma.

     “Let’s go, we should visit before it gets too dark and visiting hours are over,” said Yuzuru. Shoma nodded and they make their way to the last landmark, a temple.

 

_Recognition_

 

     They both sat side by side watching the sunset over the beautiful garden in front of them. They had managed to find a secluded area to just observe and bask in each other’s presence. Shoma looked over at Yuzuru and was stunned by his sheer magnificence. The sunlight hit Yuzuru’s face at such an angle that it made him seem almost otherworldly. He was literally glowing.

     Time slowed down for him as he fully drank in the sight of Yuzuru, he was so lucky to have someone like him. Someone who shined in every way but still found ways to support those around him. A strong rush of emotion overcame him. And for once he knew it was something he truly felt for himself. No weird heat or tingling sensation, just pure undiluted emotion. He had developed and nurtured these feelings just as he had in every lifetime. But here it was without any interference. The words flowed out of his mouth with certainty, “Yuzuru I love you.”

     Yuzuru felt his heart fill up at those words and he looked over at Shoma with love brimming in his eyes. He admired the way the sunlight seemed to form a fiery crown, elegance radiated from his very being. He was stunningly radiant. Shoma's sincerity had reached him. His own feelings of love rushed through him and he too recognized they were developed without any interference, “I love you too Shoma.”

     Shoma knew what to say, he clasped his hand over Yuzuru’s, “Yuzuru Hanyu, ice elemental I acknowledge you.”

     “Shoma Uno, fire elemental I acknowledge you,” said Yuzuru. Their memories surged forth and a fog seemed to lift from their minds. The familiar rush of power danced through them. The power settled comfortably in both of their bodies but did not overtake their senses as it once did. “Our power is much more limited than the last time."

     “That’s my fault,” said Shoma, “it will return to us in full when we depart this world.”

     “It’s not your fault, we both chose to protect the child,” said Yuzuru.

     “We will not be able to interfere as we once did,” said Shoma. "We are much closer to being truly human for this lifetime."

     “It’s fine, we’ve fallen in love in this lifetime and should enjoy it properly. We don’t need our power to be with each other,” said Yuzuru.

     “Finally we can grow old together,” said Shoma.

     “Yes, we can pass into eternity together now.”

 

_Love_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like it! There is just a little more and then this long journey will be over. Thank you for reading and commenting, your support means the world to me :)
> 
> A little thing I forgot I needed to continue—  
> Shoma's glo-up pt. 2:  
> [2015](http://www4.pictures.zimbio.com/gi/Shoma+Uno+2015+Japan+Figure+Skating+Championships+AH1kJjbBgi5l.jpg)  
> [2016](http://www4.pictures.zimbio.com/gi/Shoma+Uno+2016+Skate+America+Day+3+AlPiuGjpKu4l.jpg)  
> [2017](https://newsroom.toyota.co.jp/pages/news/images/2017/06/01/1330/001.jpg)  
> [2018](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/ff/bd/f9/ffbdf97e90e1dd91634cd690fcc2ab4e.jpg)


	12. Act V: Scene IV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really didn't mean to take this long to update. My Internet cut out for a little bit so I was unable to work on this...  
> We are nearing the inevitable end! I am just as excited as I am sad.
> 
> Anyway, this chapter requires the willing suspension of disbelief as always (little more than the other ones)

     “You know, I’m only beginning to realize how much time we’ve actually spent together,” said Yuzuru as they sat side by side on the train. They were snacking on the train in order to hold themselves over until lunch. “Chip?” asked Yuzuru offering Shoma the bag of chips. Shoma reached into the bag for a chip only to find it empty. Yuzuru grinned at him before offering Shoma an unopened bag. Shoma rolled his eyes and laughed. He reached to grab the bag before Yuzuru pulled it away. Shoma pouted, reaching for it again only to find it just out of reach. Shoma reached for it again, a helpless look on his face, his arms were too short. He turned his puppy eyes to Yuzuru, causing him to take mercy on Shoma, opening the bag and offering him the chips.

     “Mean,” said Shoma. “I don’t know why I decided to spend eternity with you.”

     “I’m deeply offended,” said Yuzuru dramatically gripping his chest.

     “I think the one who should be truly offended is Brian, look at those processed foods you’re putting into your body,” said Shoma teasingly.

     “Says the person who only eats meat,” said Yuzuru.

     “It’s a lifestyle choice,” said Shoma. "You actually care about what you eat." Yuzuru rolled his eyes and poked Shoma’s side for that comment.

     “You’re a lifestyle choice,” said Yuzuru.

     Shoma tilted his head to the side, confused, “What does that even mean?”

     “You know what that means,” said Yuzuru wiggling his eyebrows. Shoma groans and headbutts Yuzuru gently.

     “That’s explicit,” said Shoma.

     “You’re ex–” Shoma’s hand flew over Yuzuru’s mouth before he can continue his sentence.

     “Stop it noodle, we’re in public,” said Shoma, cheeks red. Yuzuru giggled behind Shoma’s hand before licking it playfully causing Shoma to recoil.

     “Okay, I’ll stop now,” said Yuzuru. Shoma looked at his hand and then at Yuzuru before sighing.

     “I’m getting you back for that.”

     “I’d like to see you try.”

     “Never underestimate a midget on a mission,” said Shoma, eyes gleaming.

 

_Laughter_

 

     Shoma and Yuzuru walked side by side, silent, taking in the museum before them. The impact of the artifacts, the pictures—the very feeling of the place—hit home. A reminder of the cruelty of humanity, the devastation that humanity could wreck on itself. They both exit the building, still silent, processing what they had just seen. What it meant for their memories. They find an isolated place in the shade to sit and allow everything to rush over them. Memory after memory rushed over them in waves. They were still getting used to having memories from all of their lives. It was incredibly overwhelming as it was gratifying. Both of them join hands under the table, a subtle yet powerful comfort. A reminder both of them were very much there, very much alive.

     Shoma broke the silence, “Thank you.” Yuzuru met Shoma’s eyes, both of them were misty-eyed. The amount of bloodshed the two of them had seen finally settling. A thank you for staying with him. A thank you for surviving. A thank you for remembering.

     “Always,” said Yuzuru. There was little need for words, they simply understood each other. Shoma felt heat run through his body and Yuzuru looked at Shoma, worried. He could easily sense the shift and spike in Shoma’s power now. “What’s wrong Sho?”

     “Let’s go over there,” said Shoma, emotion concealed from his face. He points toward the Children's Peace Monument and Yuzuru just nodded. He trusted Shoma to be able to handle whatever his power was leading them towards.

 

_Feeling_

 

     Yuzuru gazed at the paper cranes, watching Shoma from his peripherals. Shoma stood underneath the monument, gazing at the bronze crane, lost in thought. Shoma had not said much as they walked over, concentrated on something. Just as Yuzuru was about to walk over to join Shoma an old woman approached him. Shoma turned to her with the most gentle smile he had ever seen. They exchanged a couple of words, Shoma even managed to extract a laugh from her before Shoma gestured for Yuzuru to join him.

     “Hello,” said Yuzuru bowing deeply.

     The old woman laughs, “Do not bow to a mere mortal like me, both of you are much too polite for deities.”

     Yuzuru smiled, “Everyone deserves to be respected no matter their status. Besides Shoma and I do not hold the power of the deities.”

     “Nonsense, you may not be as powerful as you used to be but anyone with an inkling of sensitivity can sense the sheer amount of spiritual power from the both of you. Now, your Shoma was telling me both of you wanted to meet my granddaughter.”

     “Yes, if that would be okay with you,” said Shoma. Yuzuru looked over at Shoma and they share a look of understanding. There was something pointing him towards the old woman's grandchild. Even if they were unable to use the full extent of their power, their awareness of each other had been amplified when they officially acknowledged their connection. They could share thoughts at will, but only between each other. Their ability to connect with others locked away with the rest of their power.

     “Of course, I owe my life to the both of you."

     Yuzuru’s eyes widened in recognition, “He saved you.”

     “You both did,” said the old woman, “but it seems you two fail to age while I just get older and older.”

     “Our bodies have long ago passed on but our souls are still the same,” said Shoma.

     “You have my deepest appreciation regardless,” said the old woman. “You’ve given me enough time to have my own child and see her have a child of her own. My daughter passed away in childbirth leaving her daughter in my care.”

     “My condolences,” said Yuzuru, eyes saddened.

     “It was her time to go,” said the old woman sadly. “She will be reincarnated in another life, I’m sure of it. Now, follow me you two, come with me to meet my granddaughter. I cannot leave her alone for too long.”

     “Yes, she will be able to live much longer in her next life,” said Shoma suddenly, his eyes glazing out of focus for a moment.

     Yuzuru immediately glued himself to Shoma’s side as Shoma’s legs gave out slightly.“Your powers are restricted, you cannot always do that,” whispered Yuzuru, worried.

     “It’s fine, anything to give her peace of mind,” whispered Shoma. The two of them exchanged thoughts as their eyes locked onto each other. Yuzuru truly looked at the older lady walking in front of them. He immediately recognized the inevitable death hanging over her shoulders. Of course, Shoma would want to help ease her passing. Saving her life had allowed her to live much longer than most of the victims of the bomb. However, all humans must pass, it was a part of the cycle of life.

     “Oh, have you seen it?” asked the old woman, turning around to look at the two young men following her home.

     “Your daughter will be reincarnated,” said Shoma. Yuzuru had a firm hand on his lower back allowing some of his power to flow into Shoma.

     “That is good to know,” said the old woman, satisfaction in her eyes. “You two must be tired,” said the old woman noticing Yuzuru's supporting hand. “I will cook for you when we return to my home.”

     “You are much too kind.”

 

_Sight_

 

     “Grandma!” exclaimed a little girl. She looked oddly like a mix of Shoma and Yuzuru. Yuzuru’s breath almost left his body, there was power surging through her body. She was like them. A crane, Yuzuru could see her bird form. Shoma reached for his hand, squeezing it. He had seen it too. “You brought two birdies home,” said the little girl.

     “I did dear, this is Hanyu Yuzuru and Uno Shoma,” said the old woman. “You said they looked familiar when you saw them on TV.”

     “Because we’re the same,” said the little girl.

     “Yes dear,” said the old woman. “Why don’t you show these two in while I prepare a meal.” Shoma and Yuzuru both made eye contact, the little girl knew. Their own kind had called out to them to save her grandmother so one of their kind could live out a life on Earth.

     “Hello Hanyu-san and Uno-san,” said the girl bowing deeply.

     “Hi little one,” said Yuzuru, eyes bright, he loved children. “What is your name?”

     “Mizuki,” said the little girl.

     “Mizuki-chan, it’s nice to meet you,” said Yuzuru. Shoma kneeled down, almost as if in a trance. He offered his hand to the little girl and she placed her small hand in his, trusting. Shoma smiled before his eyes closed. The little girl’s eyes fluttered shut on her own accord. Yuzuru immediately reached out for Shoma’s shoulder, he was going to use his power again. Yuzuru’s own power surged with Shoma’s; their combined power resonated with the little girl’s, a wind elemental. She was definitely one of their own. And she had been born out of their power. She was their baby crane. Tears began to form in Shoma's eyes. He had been having visions of their child. The searing heat was a warning, a signal that he needed to find their child.

     “My baby,” said Shoma, embracing her. The little girl returned the hug; she knew that she had been found. Her parents had come.

     “I knew we were the same,” said the little girl. Shoma strokes her hair gently, taking in the moment.

     “You’re ours,” said Yuzuru, kneeling down next to Shoma and Mizuki.

     “Will you teach me to fly?” asked Mizuki, eyes wide in wonder and hope.

     “Yes, both of us will show you,” said Yuzuru. Mizuki’s eyes lit up.

     “Grandma told me my dreams will come true one day. That I’ll be able to fly with my parents,” said Mizuki. Shoma and Yuzuru smiled at that, she too had shared their dreams.

     “Yuzu, I need to go,” said Shoma suddenly. He caressed Mizuki’s face sadly before standing up, it was time. Her grandmother was about to pass.

     “Is Grandma leaving?” asked the little girl.

     Yuzuru hugged the little girl close as Shoma walked into the kitchen, “Yes, but she will not be leaving forever. She is only gone from this lifetime,” said Yuzuru. “When you are like us, lifetimes are nothing,” said Yuzuru. “But do not worry yourself with that,” said Yuzuru, gently placing his forehead against her’s. He surges just enough power through her to get her to sleep. Yuzuru lets her body rest against him, panting heavily. He had used too much power in one day. Their power really was restricted in this lifetime.

 

_Child_

 

     “It’s my time to go isn’t it,” said the old woman. She was sitting in the kitchen, sipping her tea. A pot of soup is boiling on the stove.

     “Yes,” said Shoma, face calm.

     “I’m glad I was able to live as long as I have. If it wasn’t for the both of you I would’ve never lived this long.”

     “You were meant to live a long life,” said Shoma. “The deities wished it so.”

     “The deities have been so kind to me, giving me a child and a deity as a grandchild.”

     “You were deserving of it,” said Shoma.

     “I am just a servant of Fate, my true reason to live was to allow my granddaughter to come into the world,” said the old woman.

     “Even if that is so, you still deserved to survive,” said Shoma. He softly placed his hand on the older lady’s forehead. He channeled his power through her, a blessing. Shoma collapsed into the chair beside the older woman, exhausted. He had used way too much of his power in a day. He wasn’t used to the restraints on his power.

     “I’m sorry you had to waste your power on an old woman like me. It seems like even in this lifetime I am making it hard for you and Hanyu-sama.”

     “Nonsense the least I can do is give you my blessing," said Shoma. She had taken care of their child, she deserved what meager blessing Shoma could give her. "I’m glad we were able to meet you.”

     “I need to burden you once more, I need you to take in Mizuki-chan.”

     “I–” Shoma paused, for a brief second the part of Shoma that had yet to completely adjust to the memory overflow and power hesitated.

     “You will take care of her right?” asked the old woman urgently.

     “We will,” said Shoma. Even if they were both world-famous ice skaters, they would never dare to abandon one of their own. She was their child, she was born of their power.

     “Her mother and I always knew she was never truly ours,” said the old woman. “She was always trying to spread her wings.”

     “Even if she is not like you, she is still your granddaughter,” said Shoma. "Family is not only power or blood, it is the bonds you make." The old woman smiles at that.

     “Thank you Uno-sama. Will you be the one to take me away?” asked the old woman.

     “That is not within my power,” said Shoma. “One of our kind will come for you.”

     “All I ask is that you love her like I did,” said the old woman. Shoma locks eyes with the old woman, sincerity brimming in them. He nods and the old woman smiles, her eyes fluttered shut.

_Passing_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OoOooOhhhhHH it's a little girl ;) I'm sure more than half of you could've guessed what was to come lol
> 
> I intended for her name to be written using the character for hope in it. All of you can read into that symbolism as much as you'd like. 
> 
> Since we are nearing the end, if you have any questions, feel free to ask them in the next couple of chapters or this one as well.


	13. Act V: Scene V

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All the domestic goodness and fluff to make up for all the suffering. 
> 
> I didn't want to make either of them tiger parents because my weak heart wouldn't be able to write something like that—I say that as I write angst—realistically they will probably be more strict in regards to figure skating when they have kids. Anyways, enjoy parent YuzuSho.

     “I didn’t know what to think when you told me you would be bringing home a child with you,” said Shoma’s mother opening the door. Mizuki was asleep in Yuzuru’s arms, the traveling was long and taxing especially for someone so young. She had a keen awareness, but she was still very much a child. 

     They had stayed for the funeral, a small one. The older woman was the only survivor in her family of the bomb. The family that had taken her in after the bombing had passed away as well. The older woman had handled the paperwork perfectly for the adoption. Shoma suspected there was some divine intervention but he wouldn’t question his fellow deities’ work. They would do as they liked as long as it did not interfere too much with the flow of time and did not break any rules.

     “We didn’t expect to come home with a child either,” said Shoma.

     “You two must have completed what you needed,” said Shoma’s mother ushering them inside. “You two are different.”

     “Mhm,” said Shoma. He removed his shoes and maneuvered Mizuki into his arms so Yuzuru could remove his own shoes.

     “Thank you for hosting me again. It seems I will need to stay a little longer to figure out our situation now,” said Yuzuru.

     “Of course, it is not a problem,” said Shoma’s mother.

     “It seems like you will be able to have the grandchild you wanted,” said Shoma.

 

_      Return _

 

     Mizuki lay on Shoma’s bed, still asleep. “What will we do?” asked Yuzuru.

     “I will take care of her, she can stay with my mother while I train,” said Shoma.

     “But, I cannot leave her,” said Yuzuru looking at her softly. She had already wriggled a little spot in his heart. 

     “Love, you still need to train in Canada,” said Shoma.

     “But, our child,” said Yuzuru, heart torn.

     “Her Otou-san will train in Canada while her Papa watches over her in Japan,” said Shoma, placing a hand on Yuzuru’s thigh. “There will be lots of FaceTiming and letters.”

     “I don’t want to leave you or her,” said Yuzuru leaning in to kiss Shoma. “I just got you back.”

     “I’m not going anywhere,” said Shoma. “You will be able to feel me here,” said Shoma placing a hand on Yuzuru’s heart. Their power resonated for a moment, a third power joined in, Mizuki’s. “And our little girl will be there too.”

     Yuzuru teared up, “This is almost as hard as watching you die.”

     Shoma leaned against Yuzuru, “But this time we are not waiting for reincarnation to find each other again.”

     “We’re linked for eternity,” said Yuzuru, reminding himself.

     “Eternity love,” said Shoma. “Everything will work out,” said Shoma, “we did not survive multiple wars to be stopped by mere distance.”

     “You’re right.”

 

_      Determination _

 

     “Papa are we really going to see Otou-san?” asked Mizuki. Shoma had braided her hair neatly and chosen comfortable clothes for the plane ride.

     Shoma had picked up parenting like a champion. The work ethic he had focused only on gaming and skating shifted to include parenting. He had studied hard to become proficient at washing clothes, cleaning up messes, and even cooking. He had become increasingly more responsible to the point that he would get teased by all of his friends. Since he had graduated he was able to spend his mornings with her. He would go to practice in the afternoon then spend his nights with her. It was exhausting but he did his best to be there for her as much as he could. He had tried to incorporate her into his professional life as much as he could, to make both of her parents' abnormal schedules as normal as possible. She had even begun to train at the rink with Shoma. Mihoko absolutely loved her.

     “Yes Mizuki, but Otou-san doesn’t know,” said Shoma, “it’s a surprise.”

     “Is that why we are going in through the secret entrance?”

     “Yup, that way the cameras don’t see us leaving,” said Shoma. 

     “I miss Otou-san,” said Mizuki. They had raised her as well as they could with Yuzuru in Canada and Shoma in Japan. Whenever Yuzuru came to Japan to compete he spent as much time as he could with his family. He would take weeks off when he could to stay with Shoma and Mizuki. They would stay with Yuzuru in Canada for offseason. When she was old enough, she would travel with Shoma to certain ice shows and competitions. 

     “I miss him too,” said Shoma, squeezing his daughter’s hand. “But you can feel Otou-san can’t you?” 

     “He’s in my heart,” said Mizuki.

     “Yup, he’s always with us,” said Shoma.

     “Can I eat the snacks on the plane?” asked Mizuki.

     “Yes,” said Shoma, “but don’t eat too much because we are going to eat lunch with Papa.”

     “How long do we fly for?” asked Mizuki.

     “Just two hours,” said Shoma.

     “Okay,” said Mizuki returning to focusing on keeping her Winnie the Pooh roller backpack behind her.

     The general public understood that Shoma’s family had taken in a deceased relative’s child. Initially, there was intense speculation around her origin, many saying Shoma had a child out of wedlock. However, it was impossible to find any valid information to fuel these claims. Shoma had expertly managed the media with the aid of his manager. In addition, any of the figure skaters that were asked personal questions about her refused to answer. She was the figure skating communities well-kept secret.

 

_      Parenting _

 

     “Remember our plan?” asked Shoma, carrying Mizuki into the restaurant. Yuzuru and Shoma planned to meet for lunch. Yuzuru didn’t know that his daughter was coming along as well. Mizuki nodded her head and Shoma smiled affectionately, resting his forehead against hers. Shoma’s phone buzzed and Shoma placed her down, motioning for her to stand behind the pillar. They had managed to secure a secluded table away from windows and the prying public. Shoma sat down and tried to appear like he had been waiting alone for a while.

     “I’m sorry I was late,” said Yuzuru rushing in. “Brian ended up needing to talk to me longer than I thought.”

     “It’s okay Yuzu,” said Shoma, “how are you doing?”

     “Tired, but I’ve been waiting to see you for so long,” said Yuzuru reaching across the table to squeeze his hand. 

     “I’ve missed you too love,” said Shoma affectionately. 

     “How is Mizuki?” asked Yuzuru. Shoma made the signal and Mizuki sneaked up from behind Yuzuru. 

     “Why don’t you ask her yourself?” said Shoma. Yuzuru looked at him confused and Shoma motioned with his head to turn around. He turned his head around and was greeted by the sight of his daughter. A huge smile bloomed on his face and he stood up immediately, lifting Mizuki into his arms.

     “My little girl,” said Yuzuru, he hugged her extra tight and placed a kiss on her forehead. “How is my little crane doing?”

     “Good Otou-san, I’ve been waiting to show you all the things Papa taught me,” said Mizuki. 

     “What has your naughty Papa taught you to do?” asked Yuzuru.

     “He taught me how to do this,” said Mizuki licked her hand and shoved it in Yuzuru’s face. Yuzuru laughed and placed her down. 

     “You’re teaching her bad things,” said Yuzuru.

     “Revenge is sweet,” said Shoma.

 

_      Surprise _

 

     “Ah I see you’ve brought your daughter this time around,” said Brian as Yuzuru walked in, Mizuki holding his hand. She had grown up around ice rinks like both of her parents, but foreign countries were still slightly overwhelming for her. She was taking in the rink with fascination.

     “Look Mizuki it’s Brian Oji-san,” said Yuzuru. Yuzuru had attempted to teach Mizuki English but his English wasn’t the greatest and Shoma’s was much worse. 

     Mizuki’s eyes light up and she lets go of her father’s hand to say hello to the older man. She liked most of the skating coaches, finding them fascinating. She liked Brian especially because he gave her sweets when her parents weren’t looking. Brian had come to accept her as Yuzuru and Shoma’s child but didn’t quite understand how she came into being. Nevertheless, when she came to visit during her stays in Canada he would show her a couple tricks and tweak her form.

     “Hello little one, how are you?” asked Brian.

     “Good,” said Mizuki happily, “I skate today.”

     “Really?” asked Brian with a raised eyebrow.

     “Mhm, Otou-san say I skate,” she said proudly. Her little feet are wrapped up in skates of her own. 

     “Is that why you forced me to come out early?” asked Brian.

     “I figured I’d practice early after letting her skate around for a little bit,” said Yuzuru. 

     “Sure, today we’re going easy anyway,” said Brian. “Why don’t you warm up and I’ll keep an eye on her.”

     “Yuzu is she wearing her sweater?” asked Shoma entering with Mihoko.

     “Yes, I put it on her this morning,” said Yuzuru from his warm-up area.

     “Papa! Did you finally wake up?” asked Mizuki. Mihoko laughed at that and looked over at Shoma who was still trying to wake up. He had become more responsible, but was still perpetually tired, especially since he was raising a child.

     “Yes, after your Otou-san attacked me this morning I couldn’t go back to sleep,” said Shoma.

     “Otou-san and Papa are silly,” said Mizuki giggling.

 

_      Mornings _

 

     “Now what did Papa actually teach you?” asked Yuzuru. Mizuki was making her way towards Yuzuru, steady on the ice. Shoma was warming up off the ice with Mihoko. Mizuki smirked a distinctly Yuzuru smirk causing Yuzuru to giggle a little to himself. She launched into a jump and Yuzuru beamed proudly when she landed it. Brian and Mihoko clap in the corner. Shoma made his way over to the ice, having finished his own warm-up, and joins them.

     “Come here Mizuki,” said Shoma motioning for her to come closer. Yuzuru looked at the two of them confused. They shared a couple of words and a nod before Shoma skated over to Mihoko to ask her to do something. She ran off and Shoma skated back to Mizuki nudging her towards the middle of the ice.

     “What’s happening?” asked Yuzuru.

     “Come here,” said Shoma, motioning for Yuzuru to come to the edge of the rink. Brian focused on Mizuki in the middle of the ice giving her a nod. Yuzuru looked over at his coach to figure out what was happening but is only met with a shrug. Brian knew something that Yuzuru didn’t, they all did. Yuzuru’s thoughts resonated with Shoma’s briefly but he was unable to find a hint. He received a poke to the side for that. “Be patient.” Music suddenly comes on the speakers and Yuzuru immediately sees his daughter move. Oh. A program.

     Mizuki moved across the ice and her style was a perfect blend of both her parents. Her frame was similar to Yuzuru’s but it’s evident she had all of Shoma’s power as she launched into a jump. She began her spins and Yuzuru watched in amazement as she completed a Biellmann and launched into a spin unique to Yuzuru himself. She finished off with Shoma’s signature cantilever. Yuzuru reached for Shoma and brings him in close, wiping tears from his eyes. 

     “Who taught her that?” asked Yuzuru.

     “Brian actually helped with some of her fundamentals and Mihoko-sensei choreographed it,” said Shoma. 

     “Of course, I should’ve known,” said Yuzuru. He skated over to Mizuki lifting her up, pride coursing through his veins. She was breathing heavily, tired.

     “I’m so proud of you baby,” said Yuzuru.

     “I flew Otou-san. I flew just like you and Papa,” said Mizuki.

     “You did my little crane, you flew beautifully.”

 

_      Pride _

 

     “Wipe your mouth Mizuki,” said Shoma, giving her a napkin as they sat at dinner.

     “Look Uncle Javi is here,” said Yuzuru, pointing at Javier who entered the area the figure skaters were dining in. Mizuki looked over at the Spanish man and scooted closer to Shoma. Even though she liked Brian, she was a little more wary of Javier. Yuzuru stood up to give Javier a hug and Mizuki clung tighter to Shoma; almost as if she was afraid he would take Yuzuru away from Shoma.

     “Right here little one,” said Shoma gently placing her hand on his heart, “always.” Mizuki nodded but was still clinging tightly to Shoma. “Let’s greet Uncle Javi together,” said Shoma, maneuvering her out of the booth to greet Javier. 

     “Hi Mizuki-chan!” said Javier, a bright, warm smile on her face. She bowed politely from Shoma’s arms and turned back to bury herself in Shoma’s shoulder. 

     “Hello Javi,” said Shoma, bowing. “Sorry, she have full day.”

     “I understand,” said Javier, “I’m still amazed at what a wonderful job you and Yuzu do.”

     “Thank you,” said Yuzuru, he placed a hand on Shoma’s lower back, subtly bringing him closer. Mizuki lifted her head and reached out for Yuzuru who grabbed her. “Are you tired?”

     “No,” said Mizuki, shaking her head. Both of them could tell by her clingy behavior that she was getting tired.

     “We’ll have to call it a day soon,” said Yuzuru.

     “No, I want to stay out,” said Mizuki. Yuzuru bowed politely and took Mizuki with him to a more secluded part to talk to her alone.

     “I’m glad he is able to take care of her,” said Javier. “I was worried you would end up doing all the parenting.”

     “He do his best,” said Shoma, “very good Otou-san.”

     “Yes, he always does his best,” said Javier, “especially when it comes to you.”

     “Thank you for watching over him,” said Shoma, bowing politely.

     “No, thank you for truly making him happy,” said Javier.

 

_      Connection _

 

     “When did you find time to teach her that program?” asked Yuzuru. Shoma and Yuzuru sat side by side on the couch as Mizuki slept in their bed. 

     “She actually asked Mihoko-sensei for help behind my back,” said Shoma. “I found out only after I saw her falling in attempt to mimic your Biellmann. Apparently she had been watching videos of you skating and was trying to copy them. She said she wanted to make you proud.”

     “She is truly a blend of the both of us,” said Yuzuru.

     “She’s our child,” said Shoma laughing.

     “I was surprised when you told me she wanted to come to practice with you. We had agreed that we wouldn’t force her to skate if she didn’t want to,” said Yuzuru.

     “She was always interested in our careers,” said Shoma. “She would always watch me during practice and watched all of your competition videos. When she was comfortable enough she stepped foot on ice, but she fell flat on her face. She was trying very hard not to cry even though she kept falling.”

     “I remember, you FaceTimed me after to tell me what happened. She was very proud of the bruises on her legs,” said Yuzuru.

     “It still doesn’t feel real,” said Shoma.

     “That we have a child?”

     “That too, but the fact I have you for all of eternity,” said Shoma leaning in, pecking Yuzuru on the lips.

     “I think we deserve it,” said Yuzuru.

     “So do I,” said Shoma. “We’ve survived all of that bloodshed, we deserve some happiness.”

     “I have two sources of happiness now,” said Yuzuru.

     “Mhm,” said Shoma leaning against Yuzuru. “We have a full nest.” 

     Yuzuru giggles at that, “I can’t wait until we can actually fly again.”

     “That will have to wait,” said Shoma, “we clipped our wings for our bundle of joy.”

     “It’s fine, she’ll be flying with us soon enough anyway,” said Yuzuru.

 

_      Bliss _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! Also feel free to hit me up with questions, I'll answer almost anything ;)


	14. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [It's done.](https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/967621607790297094/VV6Bop-T_400x400.jpg)

     “Otou-san, tell me about how you and Papa met,” said Mizuki, she was tucked into the middle of their bed.

     “Okay, but you need to promise me you’ll go to bed after,” said Yuzuru. Shoma was taking a shower. Yuzuru had bathed with Mizuki, in charge of preparing her for bed for the night.

     “M’kay,” said Mizuki nodding her head. She lay down, looking at Yuzuru expectantly.

     “In old Japan, your Otou-san used to be a prince. My mother, your grandma, was a queen.”

     “Obaa-san isn’t a queen,” said Mizuki, confused.

     “Obaa-san is a little different, remember how I told you we’re a little different,” said Yuzuru.

     “We’re all birdies,” said Mizuki.

     “Yes, so that means who we are now isn’t the same as who we truly are,” said Yuzuru. “Our souls are the same, but our bodies aren’t.”

     “That’s why you and Papa are always birdies in my dreams?”

     “Yes, so that’s why when your Otou-san was a prince he was a little special. Both your Papa and I are different from normal humans, so are you. We’re all deities. That’s why you experience things differently from other people.

     The queen taught me how to use my powers, like the way your Papa teaches you. As the prince I had to use my power to protect the borders; I would ride out and fight bad people.”

     “Were you good at fighting Otou-san?” asked Mihoko, absorbed in the story. Shoma had exited the shower and was leaning comfortably against the wall, listening.

     “I was very good,” said Yuzuru. “I was also an excellent tracker, partially because of my power. I could feel everything. Similar to when you do those long meditation exercises with Papa. The way you can feel all of life around you.”

     “When Papa makes me meditate I can feel grandma and Itsuki Oji-san moving around.”

     “Exactly, I could feel everyone around me, but with my eyes open,” explained Yuzuru.

     “Will I be able to do that too?”

     “Eventually, if you train hard enough,” said Yuzuru. “Where was I? Ah—when I was patrolling the borders one day, I sensed a sudden rush of power. I rode over immediately, following the source of power to find your Papa, injured. He was bleeding, he had been shot by a hunter.

     I swept him up quickly and escaped. The hunter thought your Papa was a pretty, edible bird. He didn’t know he had shot a Phoenix. I brought him back to the Queen and she was able to heal him. The Phoenix transformed into his human form, a young man. He was like us, a deity in animal form. He was sent to Earth to learn about humans.”

     “Was Papa handsome?” asked Mizuki.

     “He wasn’t handsome,” said Yuzuru, paused, looking back at Shoma, “he was ethereal.” Shoma blushed and made his way over to Yuzuru to give him a kiss.

     “What does that mean?”

     “It means your Papa was so pretty he didn’t seem real,” said Yuzuru.

     “Wow,” said Mizuki, looking at Shoma in fascination, “Papa really is pretty.”

     “Thank you, sweetie,” said Shoma kissing Mizuki’s head. “Your Otou-san was also very beautiful, people often mistook him for a woman,” said Shoma. Yuzuru rolls his eyes and pecks Shoma to shut him up.

     “This is my story, you get to tell her your version all the time.”

     “Then what happened?” asked Mizuki.

     “After that your Papa made me fall for him,” said Yuzuru. “He would read poetry to me in the garden, painting pictures with his words. He would play with the palace cats and take naps in the sunlight, it would make him glow rather than burn. I would have to wake your Papa up and he would give me the same look he gives me now, all sleepy and blurry eyed,” said Yuzuru, earning a giggle from Mizuki.

     “You’re being cheesy,” said Shoma.

     Yuzuru ignored Shoma and continued, “He would invite me to watch fireflies at night too. He would recreate fireflies with flames of his own during the winter. Sometimes he would do firework shows for the village children. He was always so considerate of others.” Yuzuru leaned in to kiss Shoma, “The little things your Papa did made me fall for him.”

     “Why are you here? Papa said if you learn your lessons then you can become a deity. Were you and Papa bad?”

     “No sweetie, evil people wanted your Papa’s blood for their own,” said Yuzuru. “Phoenix blood has magical properties and evil people wanted to use it for bad things. Your grandmother sent us away to hide. The evil people were not happy, they killed grandma. But your grandmother is very powerful, she blessed both of us so we would be able to meet again.

     Even though your grandmother did her best to hide us the evil people eventually found us. We didn’t know what happened to the city and your grandmother,” Yuzuru paused and Shoma gripped Yuzuru’s hand tightly, reassuring him.

     “What do you mean Otou-san?”

     “Because we were hiding we didn’t find out until the evil people told us what they had done to the city and the queen. When we found out, it made both of us very angry, we tried to fight all the armies but our bodies would not allow us to release the powers that could kill all of those armies in an instant.”

     “Why not? Both you and Papa are powerful.”

     “We aren’t allowed to use our powers sweetie; it would violate the rules your Papa taught you about.

     I ended up getting injured, badly. Your Papa tried to give me his blood to save me. I wouldn’t let him do that, if I took your Papa’s blood I wouldn’t be able to see him again. He would have transferred all of his power to keep me alive, making it impossible to become a deity. Your Papa decided to set both of us on fire. As a Phoenix, he has the power to reincarnate, he had hoped that if he passed his power on I would be able to reincarnate into another human life.”

     “Oh no,” said Mizuki, eyes wide.

     “Don’t worry, your Otou-san is also a magical bird. You know that Otou-san is a swan, we mate for life. That means your Papa and I will be together for eternity, even when we’re deities,” said Yuzuru stroking Shoma’s hand.

     Shoma smiles affectionately, their power resonates briefly. “Through my swan song, I was able to bind our souls together. All of the feelings we shared helped to keep us together too. That’s why your Papa and I were reincarnated together in multiple lives. We were given multiple chances to live a human life together. Now we’ll be able to live on as deities as well,” Shoma and Yuzuru shared a smile, she had fallen asleep. They tucked in their sleeping daughter, making sure she was comfortable.

     Shoma and Yuzuru leaned in sharing a kiss.

 

_“A full-circle ending to a magnificent love story.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this and sticking with me the whole time. I appreciate your support and hope that you enjoyed this story. 
> 
> If you haven't already, check out some of my other stuff, there's a little bit of every genre for everyone.


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